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Stylist Rachel Zoe has come out swinging – most likely with brittle, weak and ineffectual fists – against reports that she was fired by quote-unquote actress Nicole Richie.

Rachel has issued the following statement to our friends at TMZ:

Nicole Richie Book Cover

“There has been a lot of speculation as to the cause of my parting with client Nicole Richie. The tabloid reports have no merit. After trying to be a good friend to Nicole, we made a mutual decision to sever our working relationship.”

“Changes are inevitable in any business relationship. I am very fortunate to have such a wonderful life, I have been married for 10 years and have been a stylist for more than 15 years and am lucky to work with such a diverse group of women of all shapes and sizes that inspire me everyday. I have nothing but love for Nicole and wish her only health and happiness.”

Health? Not gonna happen. Not with 12 eating disorders, babe!

Sources say that Rachel, who had worked with Nicole (as well as Lindsay Lohan and other skanks) for years, had become increasingly unhappy with bad choices Nicole was making in her life, and simply wanted to be finished with the whole thing. Of course, sources also say that Nicole axed the Zoemeister because she was responsible for a lot of those bad choices. So who the f*%k knows!?

When asked to elaborate further about “being a good friend to Nicole,” or the status of Nicole Richie’s breasts, Rachel’s rep refused comment.

A rep for Nicole could not be immediately reached. Most likely because said rep and said Nicole were out gorging themselves on Thanksgiving leftovers. Oh wait, no.