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If you thought that Britney Spears was stupid when she got married to Kevin Federline, or when she bore two of the hyper-fertile rapping aspirant’s kids, we have news for you.

You were very, very right.

Britney Spears Closes Out 2021

But if the supposed Britney Spears sex tape is real, that would bump her up another few notches on the moron meter, don’t you think? Yes. And if the latest rumor regarding the alleged sex tape is true, she’d be taking to another level entirely.

In an effort to stop the K-Hole, a.k.a. K-Fed, from making any money from it, Britney is reportedly preparing a preemptive strike. She’s seriously weighing leaking the tape for free. As in, no money needed to buy and view it. Many times.

Sources close to Spears report she is “seriously thinking about” giving away a digitally re-mastered copy of the four-hour long sex video.

During a trip to Louisiana last week with sons Sean Preston and Jayden James, Spears hinted she may just post a clip of the video on MySpace.

“Brit figures she’ll beat that sucker to the punch, just like she can by giving away Jayden James pictures,” said Spears’ family friend Nyla Price, 55, owner of Nyla’s Burger Basket. “Half of nuthin’ is nuthin’, and that’s what her lying skunk of a husband will get if she gives that video away before he can find some sleazeball to buy it.”

David Hans Schmidt: Rolling in grave.

Forget having to pay $29.99 for this DVD like you did for the legendary Paris Hilton sex romp. Or whatever they are going to charge for the Dustin Diamond sex tape. Yuck. Yup, no need to worry about getting fake versions of the thing or shelling out cash to see a nude Britney Spears get railed. You can delight in swatching Spederline go at it alll night long from the comfort of your laptop screen, and it will not cost you a dime!!

THG NOTE: It may, however, cost you any self-respect you once had.

While we seriously doubt that this story is real (and the early results of THG’s Exclusive Britney Spears Sex Tape Poll seem to corroborate that assumption), here’s hoping that it is. Because it would be the funniest story ever.