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Thank you, Paris Hilton. From the bottom of our gossip-hungry hearts, thank you so very much.

Just as it seemed like our favorite targets were changing their ways – come on, Suri Cruise, what are you doing actually existing? – jumped drunkenly wobbled back into the spotlight last night when she was arrested in Hollywood and charged with driving under the influence.

TMZ reported that LAPD officers noticed Paris driving her Mercedes McLaren SLR erratically at 12:31 AM. They pulled her over, believing she exhibited signs of intoxication. During a field sobriety test, Hilton blew a .08.

Carter Reum, Wife
(Getty Images)

After Officer .08 zipped back up, Paris’ blood-alcohol level was also measured at that amount, the minimum level for DUI in California.

Paris was arrested and booked at the LAPD Hollywood division. Police sources say Hilton didn’t pull a Mel Gibson; she was cooperative. Kimberly Stewart, Rod Stewart’s daughter, was also in the vehicle.

Nicky Hilton, Entourage star Kevin Connolly (her boyfriend) and Paris’ publicist Elliot Mintz arrived at the Hollywood police station just before 2 AM PST. A short time later, Paris was released on her own recognizance and allowed to leave.

Cops took a booking photo, which and LAPD spokesperson says will not be released. An LAPD source would not confirm it Paris glammed it up for the camera, but revealed “It doesn’t look like Nick Nolte.”

Mintz and Hilton already have an excuse prepared: the tiny blonde was exhausted from filming a movie all day. And, therefore, her blood-alcohol level was high. Obviously.