Can we take away the question mark in the title of Bethenny Getting Married? now please? She's both hitched in real life and even on her TV show.
This week, her and husband Jason Hoppy jetted off to St. Bart for their honeymoon, which included skinny dipping, anxiety and more. Also, Bethenny posed for a pregnant nude photo shoot. Take it away, THG Real Housewives correspondent....
With their fabulous wedding behind them and Shawn getting himself cryogenically frozen so he can get some serious rest, Bethenny and Jason jet off to honeymoon on St. Bart’s. “I’m trying to be the sexy new bride but I’m a disaster,” Bethenny says.
This statement sets us up for a week filled with immense fun and laughter as well as hormone-induced crying jags and panic attacks, the highs and the lows occurring most likely within two seconds of each other.
Once on the island, they hop into their rental BMW and speed off across the gorgeous landscape. Of course they are renting a BMW - can you imagine these two in a Ford Fiesta? They arrive at the resort where they have a private villa with butler service. Their villa is gorgeous, enormous, and complete with their own huge pool with giant turtles wandering around it, munching contentedly on tropical grasses.
As soon as their luggage hits the floor, Bethenny is immediately topless and she and Jason are in the pool. “When those doors opened, honestly, you took my breath away,” Jason tells Bethenny about their wedding day.
They say many sweet things to each other and what little clothes they were wearing end up in a sodden heap pool-side. Gigantic iguanas look on suspiciously from the bushes. Jason and Bethenny’s entire submerged and naked bodies are blurred out.
Next, the two hit the beach. “I really feel like a pig that needs to be roasted on the beach at a luau,” Bethenny tells us. Jason is particularly fond of commenting on Bethenny’s cankles and her “sausage-link” toes and, luckily, she has a good attitude about it all. She tells us repeatedly that she feels fat and gross but really she must be feeling pretty confident because her bathing suit is essentially a bikini and pretty skimpy at that. Plus, she looks amazing.
Sure she’s pregnant but she’s totally toned. It’s as hot as a seven months pregnant woman can possibly look. Also, she is sporting a big, floppy fluorescent pink hat and she will wear this hat pretty much non-stop throughout the rest of the honeymoon.
Arriving back at their suite, they find a large, wet animal poop on the floor. Bethenny dry heaves, runs through the villa, and freaks out. They are sure it’s one of those huge iguanas done snuck into their bungalow and took a dump but their search turns up nothing.
Then, they wax a happy trail of dark hair that has developed on Bethenny’s belly.
Bump hair successfully removed, the newlyweds have breakfast (pink hat in attendance) and discuss a number of things, including: