The Hills
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Fans of The Hills wondering why Lauren Conrad didn't say a word when Spencer Pratt called her to apologize on The Hills now have their answer:

She wasn't even on the other line.

Interviewed on The View this morning, LC was asked about the call from Spencer Pratt, in which he said he was sorry for spreading the sex tape rumors about Conrad and asked her to please attend his upcoming wedding to Heidi Montag.

Fake, fake, fake, Lauren Conrad says.

Put on the spot, Conrad hesitated briefly before throwing the show under the bus, but ultimately did so, admitting her contempt for the program that made her a star for the past five seasons, and expressing no regrets about leaving it.

That the show is about as "real" as Heidi Montag's rack is hardly news, but this is the most blatant admission by a cast member yet. Here's the interview, in which Lauren discusses her new novel, L.A. Candy, and Stephanie Pratt's bulimia ...

Lauren Conrad on The View

You knew it was going to take a Herculean effort from someone to end Jon and Kate Gosselin's reign of seven consecutive weeks on the cover of Us Weekly.

Turns out Stephanie Pratt was up to the task.

The Hills star and sister of Spencer Pratt opens up for the first time in the new issue of the celebrity news tabloid about hating her body and her terrifying secret struggle with bulimia - sparked, she says, by good old-fashioned peer pressure.

And because Stephanie Pratt is quasi-famous from a reality show (or at least a popular MTV show masquerading as reality), we know who said peers are.

The 5-foot-7 she-Pratt reveals she began the bulimic ritual - binge, then purge - after watching a Hills scene she shot with Lauren Conrad back in 2007:

"I was horrified. I remember saying, 'I can't believe how huge I look walking over to Lauren,'" she reflected on the agony of filming next to her pal LC.

She then asked co-star Audrina Patridge, "What looks better, 'shirt on or off?'"

Audrina's response: 'On.'"

That hurts. Says Stephanie Pratt, "The producers never put pressure on us to lose weight," but adds, "It's embarrassing working with skinny girls."

Hopefully Asher Roth can write a song or do something to comfort his girl.

Former star of The Hills and recent Dodgers pitcher Lauren Conrad may have said her goodbyes to the reality show that made her famous, but that does not mean she can't still laugh at the faux drama with the rest of us.

LC herself stopped by Saturday's "The Hills: A Staged Reading," put on by the Upright Citizens Brigade, and enjoyed the show alongside fans and comics alike.

Even better? Private Practice star Kate Walsh played the role of Conrad, the recently retired Hills beauty and leading lady, and Lauren couldn't get enough.

Throughout the evening, Walsh performed an uncanny impersonation of Conrad's trademark facial expressions and infamous lines from The Hills, including:

• "Tell me if he's cute 'cause I'm drunk."
• "You're a bad person. That's reality."
• "I want to forgive you, and I want to forget you."

The real Lauren sat just rows away, laughing at Walsh ... and thus herself.

Lauren Conrad was the butt of many jokes on Saturday, but you know you've made it when Kate Walsh impersonates you on stage. [Photos: Fame Pictures]

The Upright Citizens Brigade, a renowned improvisational theater group in NYC and LA, kept the mood light, offering this amusing (and truly accurate) introduction as it prepared to lampoon The Hills and its cute, catty stars:

"You've seen Shakespeare, you've seen Mozart, now experience the work of the greatest geniuses of our time. It's Heidi vs. Lauren and it's really, really important."

We couldn't have said it better ourselves.

MTV recently enlisted the services of Laguna Beach alumna Kristin Cavallari to drink, party, hook up, drop f-bombs and wreak general havoc on The Hills.

The cost? Just $63,000 per episode.

According to Life & Style Weekly, the new replacement (and former high school adversary) of Lauren Conrad will earn that sum beginning next fall.

LC was reportedly netting $65,000 per episode from the "reality" show.

An insider says of Cavallari, who had not been heard from in three years, but magically appeared as the central character in the lives of The Hills stars when MTV desperately decided to resurrect her after Lauren Conrad said she was leaving:

“They needed someone new and fresh, who also came with a buzz and a name that was recognizable. Kristin was the obvious choice. She wanted money. You don’t have to pay the other girls that kind of money, but for Kristin you had to pay up.”

Apparently. But the rest of the cast is all for it.

“She’s so fun and crazy. Kristin’s not afraid to put anything on camera. She’s not going to hold anything back," said plastic co-star Heidi Montag.

She's is already making her presence felt. Click to enlarge more pics of Kristin Cavallari filming The Hills and leaving Club Delux in Hollywood:

[Photo Credits: Fame Pictures]

After a brief trip to St. Maarten for some Speidi-esque staged bikini pics, Kristin Cavallari returned to the familiar territory of SoCal to film The Hills.

The "new cast member" (who knew you could simply pluck one out of the air on a "reality" show) was seen dining out and hamming it up for the cameras ...

LC who? Kristin Cavallari is the new (old?) face of the MTV hit.

While Lauren Conrad is now off The Hills, some of her friends who remain on it say Kristin is out to change the entire dynamic of the show.

"[Kristin] is here to create as much drama for the show as possible, and she doesn't care how she does it," the annoying Stephanie Pratt confessed.

As the promo says, the bitch is back.

Click to enlarge more photos of Kristin Cavallari out, about and being filmed for an upcoming episode of The Hills, which will air this fall:

[Photo Credits: Fame Pictures]

Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Lauren Conrad.

Making a grand, staged entrance at Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag's wedding, Kristin Cavallari was introduced as Lauren's replacement on The Hills Sunday.

In mere minutes of screen time, LC's former Laguna Beach rival has already left her mark and positioned herself as the star of the show's upcoming season.

Kristin Cavallari is even billed as such in a new trailer for future Hills episodes, when we will see her befriend Stacie the Bartender (yes, Spencer's girl), flirt with Justin-Bobby of all people, and loudly declare to someone, “You f%&ked with the wrong girl!”

As the promo itself proclaims, "The Bitch is Back" ...

The Hills Preview: You F*%ked with the Wrong Girl!

Lauren Conrad is officially retired from reality TV and won’t be returning for the new season of The Hills this fall, but she has high hopes for it.

On her official site, the 23-year-old LC blogged some thoughts on saying goodbye to the MTV show that has chronicled her life for five seasons:

“Last night was my last episode of The Hills. It was a bittersweet night for me. A part of me is sad to say goodbye to something that has been such a prominent part of my life, but I know that it was time and I am very happy with my decision."

"I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has watched and supported me over the years. While putting my personal relationships and struggles on television wasn’t always easy, the support I received from people made such a difference."

[Photo: Juan Rico / Fame Pictures]

"Because of all of you and your support, I was able to accomplish so many aspirations and for that I am very grateful. So, THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! I have some interesting projects in the works and I will keep you all updated."

"From what I’ve heard the next season will not disappoint. :-)”

Wow, an exciting tease. The new scripts must be really good.

The hour-long finale of The Hills began with Lauren Conrad and Lo Bosworth packing up their house. Guess now that Lauren is retiring from The Hills, she has to move out of the $2.2 million house MTV was paying for. Just kidding. Maybe.

The roommates decide to throw a final party for their closest friends.

What a perfect opportunity to stage awkward conversations about Spencer and Heidi's wedding and tie up plot points bring the whole gang together for a fun time.

Encouraged by Frankie Delgado to attend the upcoming Speidi wedding, LC responded with, "I'll be at the next one." Ohhhhh, snap, Spencer. No way she's going now, right? Well, don't be so sure. Because we already know she is.

After all, Spencer Pratt is a changed man if you haven't noticed. He even convinced Heidi Montag's mom, Darlene, to give him her blessing. Impressive.

Brody Jenner, however, was not buying Spencer's "nice guy" persona.

"You have lost your mind," Brody laughed during a guys' lunch with his childhood BFF, who admitted going to marriage counseling. "I have a beautiful relationship with a beautiful girl. We have a great time - we don't need to go to therapy!"

Notwithstanding cheating on Jayde Nicole with Audrina Patridge, sparking Audzo's feud with Jayde that has dominated much of this spring, of course.

Meanwhile, Heidi was in full wedding-planning mode. Too bad her maid of honor was the most inept, unstable and worthless maid of honor in history.

Amazingly, we are not talking about Stephanie Pratt!

Heidi's big sister Holly Montag had the big title and managed to mess it up at every turn. She didn't write down the gifts Heidi got at her shower, gave a comically bad speech at the rehearsal dinner, and had an epic, drunken meltdown later.

Absolutely amazing showing, Holly.

Once the big day arrived, all anyone could talk about was whether LC would show up. And she did. A little awkwardly. Their exchange went as follows:

Lauren Conrad:  "You're getting married!"
Heidi Montag: "It's crazy! And you're here!"
Lauren Conrad: "I'm supposed to be."

Read: Because the producers made her. Knowing she's not returning to The Hills after this particular event, she can't even hide her disdain and fake it.

The guests at the wedding included Justin-Bobby, who clearly did not bother to shower, along with Perez Hilton, Spencer's Nana and Heidi's dad, Bill.

Oh, and lightning rod Kristin Cavallari, who shockingly returned to the MTV payroll witness the nuptials of the couple she helped set up many years ago.

As Lauren Conrad realized that she had been replaced, by Kristin Cavallari, on her own show, and reacted with what appeared to be legitimate disgust, her former rival successfully recaptured the spotlight in a matter of minutes.

She flirted with Justin-Bobby for reasons unknown, rubbed in Audrina's face that she flirted with him for obvious reasons (no wonder Audrina hates her already), flashed do-me eyes at Brody, glared at LC and caught Heidi's bouquet.

Oh, and Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag officially tied the knot. Hooray, we guess.

In a recent interview, Paris Hilton explained why her boyfriend - and Lauren Conrad's ex - Doug Reinhardt won't be appearing on MTV's The Hills in the future.

No, not because the show's star dumped him, but ...

"The show is, like, so lame and fake," she said. "He doesn't want to be a part of it. They make up relationships when they're not there. He just thinks it's lame."

MTV Movie Awards weekend guest hosts and The Hills stars Frankie Delgado and Stephanie Pratt responded to her comments, saying she should apologize.

"Doug's not even on the show, so I don't even understand that," said the annoying sister of Spencer Pratt. "And in real life he is friends with those boys, so it's not fake. I would never call her show dumb, so I think she should apologize."

NO YOU DIDN'T: Stephanie Pratt and her 70 I.Q. points take issue with Paris.

Delgado also defended The Hills, saying: "She knows that it's not fake. It's not fake at all. It's as real as it gets. There's no way to create that kind of drama. Nothing can even be scripted like that. Things do happen and they happen for a reason."

But Frankie Delgado did point out that although there's nothing fake about the show, sometimes their friends' personalities may give people that impression.

"Some people ... maybe their personalities are fake. They act fake on the show, but that's what makes it dramatic," Brody's BFF explained. "She should understand it's all entertainment. It's all business ... Paris, it's all business."

So, in conclusion, the show is not fake, but some of the people on it act fake, and that's what makes it dramatic, so therefore it is fake. Thanks, Frankie.

Say "smile for the camera so we can sell this picture to tabloids and make millions of dollars off our staged wedding" "cheese!"

We've already taken fans inside Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag's April wedding.

But here's a newly-released photo of the entire cast of The Hills at the event. It's enough to make an MTV executive cry over the incoming cash...

Pictured above, from left to right:

Jayde Nicole; Brody Jenner; Holly Montag; Speidi; Audrina Patridge; Stephanie Prat; Kristin Cavallari; and Lauren Bosworth.

The wedding ceremony will be featured on this week's hour-long season finale of The Hills. Will you be watching it?