A double shot of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo? Oh yes. And you thought Thursday night TV couldn't get any better. Looks like you thought wrong.
The first installment, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Season 3 Episode 4, was entitled “Get a Job.” Lacking money to buy a pool, they crew digs a hole.
Fun as that is, the go-getter Thompsons walk dogs, wash cars, clean toilets and the like in an effort to get their acts together and earn their keep.
Inspirational, really. As is Mama June warning Anna and Jessica about their impending double date, saying, “That’s how I got two of y’all by age 17.”
Words to live by right there. It would be effective as a birth control ad.
Afterward successfully chaperoning and making sure no pants come off, June exhales, saying, “It’s another day where my girls ain’t getting impregnated.”
Honey Boo Boo herself, Alana, basically serves little purpose these days, other than to weigh in on the older folks' antics with lines like “boys are gross, like boogers."
Pretty much. In the end, Anna and Jessica are given promise rings by their boyfriends, which makes June all teary-eyed and hopeful for their futures.
The girls also earned $225. That'll get you an inflatable water slide that lasts a good couple of days, anyway. Who needs a swimmin' pool anyway?
Then, in Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Season 3 Episode 5, “Funk Shway,” the family decides that seven people in a tiny house is not gonna cut it.
So let's "storm brain" ideas.
Before they can renovate, it's off to the Georgia Blueberry Festival, where Honey Boo Boo - no longer just window dressing - wins first prize in a pie-eating contest.
She's not the only one who eats a lot. Sugar Bear is so packed with various consumables from the event that he says, “I feel like a tick that’s been filled up.”
Well done, Suge. Well done.
On the ensuing house hunt, the real estate agent observes, “It’s obvious this family needs to regroup,” and that “It was like herding cats on fire.”
Guy must not watch Honey Boo Boo online. We could've told him that a long time ago. We could've also predicted that the gang isn't moving anytime soon.
Too many memories at the ol' homestead. You simply can't put a prize on that, even if you have seven humans trying to share one nasty bathroom.