I could no longer look at myself in the mirror.
So stated Lindsay Lohan this morning in a stunning turn of events, as the troubled star copped to being a total mess and vowed to turn things around.
She also promised that she will check into rehab immediately and will not return to work (or whatever it is that she does) until early 2014 at the earliest.
"I've been living a lie for too long," Lindsay said early Monday. "I've been spiraling out of control, even if I didn't know it at the time. I lost track of who I am."
In an apparent shot at her family and management, she adds, "I've been surrounded by enablers instead of those who will guide me down the right path."
Lohan said her mentality has been to "deny, deny, deny" when it comes to getting into trouble with the law, or when it comes to personal issues.
That all stops now, she claims, and while we've heard it all before, never has she been more direct, or even acknowledged she has a problem at all.
"I've done many things I am not proud of," her statement continues. "I have not been forthcoming with the authorities, with my fans or with myself."
"I admit everything and ask that you forgive my mistakes. For so long, my approach has been to 'deny, deny, deny.' Today, I set out to change that."
"After a period of self-reflection I could no longer look at myself in the mirror. It is time to finally take responsibility and seek treatment for my addiction."
While Lindsay did not specify what that addiction entails, or confess to any specific crimes, the takeaway is clear: I admit everything. And I'm getting help.
Her statement concludes:
"As a result, I will be entering a 180-day in-patient treatment program effective immediately and will not return to work until next year at the earliest."
"I appreciate your well-wishes and hope that you will respect my privacy during this transitional period as I turn the page and become a better person."
It's taken a long time, but THG would like to applaud Lindsay Lohan for finally seeing the light and doing whatever it takes to get her life back on track.
Never thought we'd see the day. On a related note ...
... Yeah, right. Like this would ever happen.
Come on. You didn't really buy it, did you?
HAPPY APRIL FOOLS' DAY!