The Real Housewives of Miami Recap: Eager Beaver

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The Real Housewives of Miami's latest episode "Eager Beaver" has me convinced that the most annoying women involved in this franchise all live in Florida.

We recap all of the bitch slapping and back stabbing in our THG +/- review.

Beat Up on Karent Day

Apparently it's lets bitch about Karent night because everyone has something to say and admittedly, she's pretty good at giving them ammunition.

Karent is over the top.  She's always a little too loud and too eager to jump into conversations that don't involve her.  Minus 10.  

But even with that, I can't say she deserves the verbal beating Adriana is giving her behind her back.  Minus 12

When Adriana quips that Karent would show up to the opening of an envelope I had to laugh. Like Adriana wouldn't?  All of these women are attention whores or they wouldn't be on the show in the first place.

Then she attacks Joanna when she doesn't agree with her assessment.  "Haven't you got the point yet," she yells across the table. Minus 7. Adriana needs to ease up on the righteous indignation.  It really doesn't suit her, especially since she was actively flirting with Joanna's fiance.

Even Ana jumps in on the Karent bashing as she and her daughters stalk Karent's Facebook page just to bash her and make fun of her boobs.  Ah, there's family entertainment.  Minus 8.

But neither Adriana or Ana can hold a candle to Lea Black.  Lea's opening line is  "I really can't deal with stupid."  Well, damn.  Then her head must be a difficult place to be.

When Marysol confides that her and her boyfriend broke up, Lea says, "I hope you laugh at this. He got his green card and left."  Oh yeah. Who wouldn't laugh at that.  Ugh. Minus 15. Who would say something so hurtful as a joke, especially as Marysol is obviously still in pain over the split.

But Lea's all about what others can do for her.  She bashes Marysol but then eagerly invites her to her latest fundraiser.  She invites Joanna to the food tasting only because she wants her to buy a table at her gala for $12,500.  

Every time Lea hits the screen I cringe…almost as much as I did when we met Thomas.

Thomas is rich and sleazy so of course all of these women want to be his close, personal friend leading to Karent literally jumping into his lap.  Minus 9.

Even Elsa hits the dance floor with Thomas.  Apparently the freak show has begun.

At least Joanna remains sober for this shin dig.  Plus 13.  But she does get all teary eyed when her sister says Romain wants her to move out.  He's tired of watching Marta laze around their home on their dime and who can blame him?

But Joanna's trying to make things work.  She heads to Ana's for a cooking lessons and wears the naked man apron.  Minus 7. I'm guessing it was a present from Ana's ex.  

Ana tells her making risotto is easy.  I'm guessing she's never watched chef Gordon Ramsey on Hell's Kitchen.  He's always complaining about everyone screwing up the risotto.

At least Ana tells Joanna she thinks she's making life too easy on Marta.  Plus 10. The girl will never pull it together if her sister's always there to foot the bill.

Ana really needs to stop talking about Rodolfo.  Even if he is playing both sides, the way she obsesses about him makes her look bad.

Lisa's looking like the sanest one of the bunch.  Plus 15.  The craziest thing she did all episode was don a string bikini to bathe her dogs.  I'm willing to cut her some slack on that one.  I'm guessing she doesn't even own a one piece.

Lisa's Dog Day

So Lea thinks Adriana should bitch slap Karent.  I'm hoping someone would bitch slap both Lea and Adriana.  Honestly on this show, there's equal opportunity.  I don't mean to endorse violence but if they all slapped some sense into one another I wouldn't mind a bit.

EPISODE TOTAL: -30! SEASON TOTAL: -162!

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