Lady Gaga Extolls Virtues of Manicures, Handjobs

by at . Comments

Lady Gaga is all about manicures.

One of the underrated reasons for this, she writes in her monthly column for V is that they leave you better prepared in case the need for a handjob strikes.

Writes the Gaga: "Having a perfect manicure instantly makes you feel beautiful and clean." Also, "You'll be ready for sex, or to put a penis in your hand."

Hey, you can never be too prepared.

Lady Gaga Nude in Vogue

Not sure how many guys ask if their partner has had a manicure lately when a HJ is on the horizon, but good to know, Lady Gaga. Good to know.

Also, Mother Monster feels manicures bolster self-esteem, project an image of success which is good for biz, and help a woman to express herself.

You know, in addition to providing smoother hand relief.

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Fuck off bitch

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Man I am so sick of her! Along with Kardashian and Rihanna. She just makes outlandish comments for attention . . . does outlandish things for attention, because she has little in the way of talent.

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Overrated, overpaid, trashy marketing tool. Nothing more and nothing new in this world.

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Okay, okay, Lady. You've done the nudie thing long enough! What else do ya have? WHAT?!?!? NO TALENT????? Damn!

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Blowing chuncks, vomit, puke, wretch, this is 1 gross, vomit(again) mental idiot