Jersey Shore Recap: Pitching a Tent

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In light of the fact that Jionni LaValle got Snooki pregnant, this week's Jersey Shore seemed almost irrelevant ... and at the same time told us a lot.

Last night's show was filmed long before this bombshell, of course, but the buildup to Mike revealing his "master plan" had long been in the works.

Who were the winners and losers of this epic conflict?

Let's recap Jersey Shore, THG style, and find out!

Mike and Jionni

After The Situation tells Snooki's boyfriend that she cheated on him, the two shake hands. Mostly amicable, really. If only for a moment. Plus 11.

Even if Sitch's story is true, which it probably is, let's dace it, it's funny to watch Jionni and Snooki laugh about it as Mike expects drama. Plus 17.

For whatever reason, Mike decides he will go well every roommate what he did ... as if they care or he's doing it out of actual guilt. Minus 45.

When Vin porked Snook, he did not do this. Plus 8.

Snooki confronts The Situation, taking out aggression during a food fight. It's not as good as the Italy melee, but nevertheless, Plus 8.

The roommates watch as Snooki faces off against Sitch. Ever the protective figure, Pauly D tries to shield Deena from the fight. Plus 12.

Pauly and Deena Pic

Snooki really comes out ahead in all this, since Jionni is uncaring about Mike, yet polite enough to indulge him. Takes patience, and some actual brains. Plus 10.

"If my boyfriend heard that news he would be bugging out," says Sam of Snook's transgression. Yes, that would be the understatement of all time. Plus 9.

The Situation meets his latest prospect at the club. That took awhile. Plus 8.

JWoww and Deena talk about how much they miss Snooki. Aww. Plus 2.

The gang prepares to go camping. Yes, camping There are Jersey Shore quotes and there are scenes like this where only visuals suffice. Plus 10 for camping.

Minus 28, however, for how Snooki "decides" they should go camping ... this girl can't pronounce "banjo." No way she has any original thoughts at this point.

Snooki Rages Against Sitch

Ronnie and Sammi struggle with their tent. This is the only time these two ever struggle in the realm of tent pitching. Minus 15 for us and that awful joke.

The roommates around Deena to dump Joey. Well, mostly JWoww. Still, Plus 7.

Pauly D and Vinny begin to work on their latest prank. The guys enlist the help of their fellow Shore Store employees. Team Building at its finest! Plus 3.

The Situation plays with fire. In this case, literally, at the campsite. Plus 7.

Deena confronts Snooki for neglecting their friendship. Someone had to say it. Even if she doesn't mean to, girl can be kind of a drunk mess. Minus 9.

See below, and above point about pictures saying 1,000 words. Plus 10.

Jersey Shore Group Shot

Deena's date becomes ... not Deena's date. Peace out Joe. Holla. Plus 6.

"Hot girls are boring, most of the times," Vin opines. Word, G. Plus 13.

"I can't believe he has the brainspan," says Ron of Mike assembling a tent. We didn't know Ron could say words like brainspan. Oh wait, we did. Minus 11.

Mike calls Deena a "hermaphrodite." Not because he's thinking of a real hermaphrodite, mind you, but because "pyromaniac" escapes them. Minus 21.

Pauly says he didn't go camping with the gang because there's just no way to achieve his blowout in the woods. That is probably totally true. Plus 15.

Or he and Vinny just needed some QT. Either way, Plus 5 more.

EPISODE TOTAL: +32! SEASON TOTAL: +348!

Jersey Shore ...

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I really hate mike. He is just a messy ass bitch. All he does ir walk around the house seeing what kind of drama he can start. He exfoliated his face so much he has made acne. Lol. He needs to try some proactive.

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it was deena that called mike the"hermaphrodite."

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Hey guys the show is great. I love u all. Uumahh....

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jerzday all day everyday! i saw pauly's vein pooping all the way from my house!

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Mike Is the big Jack Ass
All He Do Is Fuck Around
He..... So Fake