Jersey Shore Recap: Snooki Spurns Situation, Smushes Vinny REAL Good!

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If you thought last week's display of Snooki's kooka would turn the men of Jersey Shore away forever, you thought wrong. Apparently it did the opposite.

Seriously, what is it about this girl? After her antics caused a rift with Jionni (at least temporarily), TWO of the roommates immediately make their move?

Baffling. As is the concept of Deena raising a child. When she missed her period, let's just say all of humanity was hoping for a false alarm. Did we get it?

As always, we break down all of the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you as we analyze Thursday's gripping installment, THG +/- recap style!

Getting. It. In.

Snooki dances away the pain alone at the bar. Fortunately, no straight vagine. Plus 7.

Forced to pretend she has a job, Deena cleans the bathrooms at work. Pretty gross, we have to say. The bathrooms look respectable, however. Plus 4.

JWoww apologizes to Snooki for blowing her off, but soon enough, warns Snooki to not act like Sammi over Jionni. Sage advice from our girl J. Plus 5.

Plus 12 for Sam telling JWoww that she'd prefer to be mocked as "the old Sam" because Sam 2.0 is so much better at relationships. Self-deprecating!

Ronnie and Sammi actually do seem stable lately. Relatively. Plus 5.

Jionni CRUSHES Snooki's "not being herself" excuse: "What do you mean you're not being yourself? You get drunk seven days a week, hook up with girls, and you flash your underwear, I thought that was who you are?" Plus 35.

Jionni is upset because he "flew all the way across the country" to see Snooki and for what. Minus 9 for apparently failing seventh grade geography.

Pranking Deena

Pauly D and Vinny prank Deena by putting the couch and other items on her bed. Plus 4. Deena gets trapped under the couch, obviously. Plus 3 more.

Deena takes a pregnancy test. Please God no. Minus 25.

She really hopes she's not knocked up because, well, it would be an embarrassment to her family. This entire season should have that covered, D. Plus 9.

And Minus 17 for drowning your possible unborn child with cigarettes and hard alcohol. As if Deena Jr. wouldn't have enough time after his/her birth.

When it's not clear who the dad would be? Also a bad sign. Minus 5, but we pretty much knew Team Meatball wasn't expanding yet, so ... thank goodness.

DJ Pauly D transforms the house into a Jersey club. Eat your heart out, Karma ... which we'll see plenty of this winter in Season 5. Yeeeeah BUDDY. Plus 7.

Seriously, how much fun is this guy to be around, even just on TV? He brings the least drama, but Pauly's the most indispensable cast member. Plus 13.

Situation and Snooki

The Situation pretty much flat out confesses his undying love for Snooki. Seriously?! Does he just want her because he knows he can't have her, or is he for real? Minus 8, because you never can tell with this guy's skeevy ways.

Minus 5 more for wearing his sunglasses halfway down his nose AGAIN.

The Situation argues with the gang over whether or not he's causing drama. When your nickname is the Snitch-uation, that tells you something. Minus 9.

Alas, for Sitch, Snooki finds comfort in Vinny's bed. The end of the episode took us back to Miami with Snooki and Vinny cuddling, then smushing. History repeated itself in Firenze, it turned out. Seabiscuit rides again. Minus 10.

These guys do realize they're pining for effing Snooki, right? They bring home other girls all the time, so it's not like they're on a desert island here. Minus 5.

Jionni apparently got over this eventually. Unless he didn't know about it until seeing this episode. Unlikely as it is, here's hoping for that scenario! Plus 6.

This is more of a general observation in response to the "WHY IS THIS SHOW ON THE AIR?!?!" comments we get every week. This show is on the air, and gaining ratings no less, because it's frickin' hilarious, and because for all the stars' flaws, there is a certain authenticity and realness in the way they interact. That's all, and Plus 25.

EPISODE TOTAL: +42. SEASON TOTAL: +178.

Snooki: Would you smush it?

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If snooki & the situation leave the show is over.

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snooki may be loose around boys but dosnt make her a whore. people seem to forget that this is reality tv and a show on mtv, its going to be trashie. but with its millions of viewers around the world its doing somthing right, and its hasnt continued only because snookie got punched. the show would have been exed after season 2. so please dont make nasty comments about people being whores.

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For every1 sayin mike and snookie should leave the show u gotta rememba that the only reason this cast got 2 stay on was cuz of the way mike acts and snookie gettin punched in the face. i dnt think she show would last without them. if any1 should leave it should b deena or vinny. y do we need sum1 just like snookie? y wouldnt they get sum1 different? i dnt get it and vinnys fake and boring so hes definetly disposable but ya the show will end 1 day and i have a strong feeling they will crash harder then the hills did wen that ended or jackass it kinda seems like mtv reality shows r cursed or sumthing

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The more u hate on one of the cast the more they get paid and reconised there now earning over 100 thousand a episode the biggest grenade snooks earn the most. Good on them I say but there will b a time this show will end I wonder if they can further themselves on tv.at shows like this I'm glad to b a Aussie. Let do Aussie shores lol now that would b crazy it wouldn't be fist pumping it would b fist punching men here are crazy lol

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Ok we love reality tv jersey shore
Is ok.funny/boring/fist pumping so on. But were is the sexy ppl. Mike yuk ugliest in the house Sammy has great legs but looks like a ratface jwow erh plain but can work her outfits denna same playing field as mike they should hook up. Love to see Pauly wear his hair referent good look but the hair real turn off.snooks has a horrible body figure from behind. Only two in the house that I have no comment on is Ron and Vinnie their sexy passable great personality that's Ron without Sammy I mean. I'm quite surprised I havnt seen anyone call the cast grenades cause they would be well up in that scale agree? I want to c a real hot girl come to the house and shake up the boys and steal Ron from Sammy what a show that would be. Peace out.

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I think that snooki is nothing but a drama queen If she loved the guy she wouldn't show her goods to everyone in america. She acts like she's retarded running around screaming "WHERE'S MY BOYFRIEND, WHERE'S MY BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW." She acts like she doesn't have a brain in her head she is really ruining the show. And then she goes and hooks up with Vinny and before she went there she hooks up with Mike and tries to lie about it you can tell she's lying please take her off the show she is making all of them look like idiots and their not it's only her. Thanks,,,

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My daughter loves this show. I think the reason this show gets the ratings is because it's a trainwreck you can't tear your eyes from, and a clownshow you can't stop rolling your eyes at. It's similar to the feeling one gets watching a freakshow: it's a disgusting travesty, but you can't stop yourself from looking!

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ok i figured it out! we watch this show becuz of snooki becuz she does what we all want to do...i.e. be drunk with no responisibility, show people our privates, screw, sleep all day, yet get attention for being loco...eat your hearts out it's true!!! vinnie get yours, mike get yours, ron stay cool, jwow put back on some weight looking like a CRACKHEAD,,,,sam nice, deena 'no comment'

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Can you say ho ho ho?

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Oh man HEA, that was fuckin hillarious!!