The gang invented a new means of extracting grenades, Deena revealed her inner freak, Sammi and Ronnie came to blows (again), Snooki bought a stripper pole and so much more in an epic night of Jersey Shore debauchery.
Just when you think they can't outdo themselves once again ...
THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the MTV show, as always, in its trademark +/- recap below:
SOUND THE ALARM: Vinny rescues The Situation.
It's more like a Grenade Horn, but the Grenade Whistle is a fitting prop for a group of guys so dedicated to extracting the less-attractive females. Plus 8.
Of course, they could simply not bring said females back home, so ... Minus 7.
Vinny sounds the grenade whistle to rescue Sitch. What are friends for? Plus 4.
The Situation goes upstairs to borrow a condom from Ronnie and lets it slip to Sammi that Ronnie is talking to JWoww. What an instigator. Minus 6.
Snooki and Jenni bring home a couple of bitches. Pomeranians, looks like. Plus 5.Snooki's biggest fear after buying a stripper pole: "Wait, is it going to say 'stripper pole' on my credit card? Because my dad will f*%king freak." Yes he still pays the bill. One of many new challenges for her to face on the spinoff. Minus 9.
Vinny, on his new love interest's family showing up at the house: "What is this, ‘Romeo and Juliet’? The Capulets and the f*%king whatever?" Plus 23.
As JWoww and Roger hit it off, Tom's no doubt plotting a nude pic release. Minus 3.
ROGER WOOS J-WOWW: She looks pretty smitten, too.
Ronnie relaxes on the bed, fully satisfied and low-key, after dumping all of Sam's possessions on the floor in a fit of rage. This is a stable relationship. Plus 27.
Minus 6 for this awesome exchange, BRO:
Sammi: Don’t you touch anybody.
Ronnie: I didn’t touch anybody like that.
Sammi: I saw it, you f*%king idiot.
Ronnie: On who?
Ronnie: On who did I touch like that?
Sammi: You tell me, bro. You f*%king did it.
But Plus 7 for Ronnie's retort: "I hope you have a f*%king book for the apology you have to f*%kin' write me in the morning... cry all you f*%kin' want, your tears don't mean s**t to me. Your tears mean d!ck to me, just so you know."
Ron WEEPS to JWoww about wanting to be happy. Get a GRIP dog. Minus 9.
"I don't get an apology... or I'm sorry, not a hug or nothin'... I get a piece a pizza, not a f*%kin' protein shake, pizza, of all things... REALLY?!" Really. Plus 3.
PUNCHED, DRUNK: Sammi lets Ronnie have it right in the kisser.
Says Deena: "Karma's a b!tch, literally." Literally! The club name! Still, Minus 9.
Deena lets her freak flag fly pretty hard. She is into some kinky stuff. Salad-tossing, possibly. The Sitch won't engage in activities with her lips now. Plus 10.
When a girl (JWoww) actually says "get it in" ... eh, good for her. Minus only 1.
JWoww should really be in PR with all the spinning she's doing on this. Plus 6.
The music fades out over the image of Ronnie and Sammi in bed. Man, these two are irritating. The same $h!t, over and over. Miserable people. Minus 11.
At least there was a punch thrown. Maybe they'll both be indicted soon. Plus 15.
JWoww and Sam make up. For how long? Give it a couple of hours. Minus 8.
TOTAL: +39. SEASON TOTAL: +143.