John Mayer Refers to Jessica Simpson as "Sexual Napalm," Uses the N Word

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In a new interview with Playboy, John Mayer makes sure to say that he's NOT a douchebag.

He then spends the entire interview proving why so many people consider him to be a giant douchebag.

We'll let Mayer dig his own douchey grave below, as he recounts what it was like to sleep with Jessica Simpson and why he and Jennifer Aniston broke up...

On sex with Simpson: That girl is like crack cocaine to me. Sexually it was crazy... It was like sexual napalm. Did you ever say, 'I want to quit my life and just f*ckin' snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f*ck you, I would start selling all my s*** just to keep f*cking you.'"

On Aniston: That woman was the most communicative, sweetest, kindest person.

On their break-up: There was a rumor that I'd been dumped because I was tweeting too much. That wasn't it, but that was a big difference. The brunt of her success came before TMZ and Twitter... She saw my involvement in technology as courting distraction.

THG note: In other words... that was it.

Douche on the Mic

On current sex life: I get less ass now than I did when I was in a local band. Because now I don't like jumping through hoops.

On NOT being a douchebag: From now on I’m just going to pretend that people really dig the s*** out of me. I've been trying to prove to people I'm not a douchebag by not dating, by keeping my name out of Us Weekly. That's f*cked up, man. I'm not dating. I'm not even f*cking. So now I'm going to experiment with 'f*ck you.'

John, your dating life has nothing to do with the public's perception of you. What might make people think you're a douchebag?

Rambling, nonsensical interviews about masturbation and sexual napalm that make you sound like an attention-hungry tool. Or, to use a more apt description: a douchebag.

** UPDATE: WHOA! New excerpts from the interview have been leaked, and they paint Mayer as far more than just a douchebag. Read below.

Mayer: It depends on what I picked up. My two biggest hits are “Your Body Is a Wonderland” and “Daughters.” If you think those songs are pandering, then you’ll think I’m a douche bag. It’s like I come on very strong. I am a very…I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why black people love me.

Playboy: Because you’re very?

Mayer: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a n*gger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’"

Playboy: Do black women throw themselves at you?"

Mayer: I don't think I open myself to it. My d*ck is sort of like a white supremacist. I've got a Benetton heart and a f*ckin' David Duke c*ck. I'm going to start dating separately from my d*ck.

THG note: What the heck is wrong with this guy?!?


Why can't anyone just accept the fact that he's fuckin funny? Does every musician have to be clean-cut and not pretentious or funny at all? You people are so damn bland.


No need to try to figure this guy out....Here's another N word for you, NARCISSIST. Look it up guys! There are a TON out there and not just in Hollyood!


HAHA you know whats funny..
Compare who's more of a Fuckup, TIGER WOODS or JOHN MAYER
johns looking a little better, so Get the fuck off his ass and get a life.. the guy's a genius, so he's bound to be a lil reckless


I love JM! He does say stupid things but who in the music world does not ever do that! He tries to be funny and he is never as deep as his music lyrics. The lyrics come with much thought and he spouts off without thinking things through. So forgive the guy...he is the most amazing musician I have ever listened to or watched in concert. AMAZING!


Damm John... you really NAPALMED YOUR CAREER. In the beginning the only reason you even became famous and had credibility is because of your first album which portrayed you as a sensitive human being and made woman like Jessica Simpson or Jennifer Aniston even give you a chance. The fact that you have so much disrespect for other people's feelings and now look like the biggest big-mouthed loser makes me think that you are either seriously messed up in the head from all the drugs you have done or covering up a hidden secret that you are really into guys and that degrading woman is your way of making yourself look macho... come clean now John because one of these days you will have to when I watch you on celebrity rehab ...crying to Dr. Drew.


John Mayer has a strange sense of humor, and you have to understand that he is not douchebag. He's not trying to get attention; he's obviously trying to be funny.


A hood pass? Is that anything like a bus pass?
John Mayer may have a few Black fans, but that only amounts to a small number of darker faces in his audience and some random acknowledgements from said open minded people. That's it.
A David Duke cock. If that's how little he thinks of himself that he would associate any part of himself with a known racist, then it only goes to show you how small he is (in every way). Personally, I have never known for any of my Black sisters to be interested in John. Who is jocking for John Mayer?


I never thought in a MILLION years that I would EVER say this....but I am and I hate myself for saying it...but nevertheless, "Spencer Pratt is looking good right about now"...there I said it and now I have to go and spit out the vomit. Excuse me all. Okay...I can't leave it at that. This guy is the biggest tool...douche bag and I can't even believe that Jennifer Aniston ever dated this little twerp. He would be on the level of that no talent Pratt if he didn't "go there" with the racist comments. Yes, Mayer has some talent, but his antics are now overshadowing said talent and you know, even Lindsay Lohan is/was a remarkably good actress (in some eyes) before she went off the deep end. Mayer is making some really bad calls in an attempt for some notariety? BAD MOVE!!! I think he just NAPALMED his career. Asshead!


Boy oh boy record sells will drop now and reputation is done. We are living in 2010 and people still don't think before they speak. I'm black and when waiting on the world 2 change came out it was over i was hooked no longer will i feel anything 4 that trash. He made himself look so bad i will never watch his videos nor will i buy his music he makes me sick on my STOMACH.


The worrying thing is not only that he says these things, but that he even thinks that way!


John Mayer Biography

John Mayer With Long Hair
John Mayer is a singer, songwriter, guitar player and Grade A douchebag hailing from Connecticut. The cheesy musician has become a major... More »
Bridgeport, Connecticut
Full Name
John Clayton Mayer

John Mayer Quotes

The feathered cut projects an attitude of ease and quiet confidence that seems to have all but eluded our generation. This is a work in progress, and as my hair grows longer it will serve to become a more stirring and poignant statement.

John Mayer [on haircut]

To adults who will vote for him, Barack Obama represents a return to prosperity. To the youth, he represents an introduction to it.

John Mayer