"You have to have a good body, even at five years old."
Oh yes. Toddlers & Tiaras is back on TLC, and the nauseating spectacle is being cranked up about 10 notches from the looks of this trailer.
Seriously. This is next-level parenting horror here.
There's a whole new crop of pint-sized pageant queens, and these girls came to win - at the expense of all that is right with this world.
"The competition has gotten really fierce," says coach Cambrie. "How pageants used to be with the fake tans and the hair and the teeth."
"That's just baseline now," she adds.
Sheesh. That's so Dance Moms.
Indeed, the stakes are high and getting higher for the young competitors and their unstable mothers in this cutthroat world of competition.
Basically it's a 24/7/365 life.
"Now we have acting classes, facial classes, collagen sprays," Cambrie boasts of her Sassy Supremes, and their quest for the glory.
"Some people think that collagen spray is crazy, but I wish when I was three years old someone had one given me a collagen spray."
Don't we all, Cambrie.
With something like the Mega Ultimate Grand Supreme prize on the line, there's little wonder why the contestants are going all in for the title.
Hopefully they can put some of those potential winnings toward the therapy they will clearly need later in life after being subjected to this.
Todders & Tiaras returns in its abject terror August 24 on TLC, which will somehow air 13 episodes of utter nonsense this fall.
Peep the trailer and get sick now.