Skip to Content

Look, some jobs just involve being ejaculated on.

There’s porn star, and…well, we guess that’s about it. Or at least it was until today.

Now, you can add President of the United States to the very short list of gigs that occasionally require being jizzed upon.

Allow us to explain:

President Obama is in Alaska at the moment and the trip has made for some very photo ops.

No, the Prez didn’t stop by Sarah Palin’s house to find out if she can really see Russia, but he took a selfie with Bear Grylls, busted some traditional native dance moves with a bunch of middle-schoolers, and checked out some local fishing techniques.

That’s when he had an unfortunate run-in with some bass baby batter. Actually, we have no idea what kid of fish that is, but we do know that it "spawned" all over Obama’s shoes. Skeet, skeet, skeet.

We’re told the fish then lit a cigarette and gently explained to the President that he should probably get going, since he has an early meeting in the morning.

At press time, the fish had made no attempt to contact President Obama by phone.