You don't need The Bachelor spoilers to tell you that love - like fame - fades. Real life eventually sinks in, and hits hard.
And fast. That is cynical, yes.
But it's just factual, guys.
While things were looking up for a time, The Bachelor stars have not exactly had the best track record over the long run.
How bad is it? Well, Peter Weber didn't exactly raise expectations for future Bachelors when he dumped both finalists.
Dude sure did get laid a lot, from girlfriend Kelley Flanagan ... just not from his true love of a lifetime, Hannah Ann.
Or Madison, for those 48 hours.
Anyway, that guy was a mess. And once Peter and Kelley inevitably called it quits, well, he was 0-3 in a single year.
Pete set a low bar for successors Matt James and Clayton Echard, both of whom took long and controversial journeys.
After all, Clayton Echard's train wreck finale may have one-upped both of his precedessors, which is saying a lot.
Sure, both his runners-up are The Bachelorette now, and we're rooting for Clayton and Susie Evans, but wow.
Just an utter disaster. Can he follow in the footsteps of James and pick up the pieces, or are he and Susie doomed?
Check out the full Bachelor rankings by relationship length and see how they fared once the cameras turned off.
Brad Womack, in the first of his two stints as The Bachelor, takes the cake by not choosing to propose to, or even continue his relationship with, either of the final two women, Jenni Croft or DeAnna Pappas (pictured). Wow.
They took a circuitous route to get here; they didn't make very many fans along the way; they may not be long for the romance department. But hey, Susie Evans and Clayton Echard are happy and in love for the moment. The Bachelor suitor and The Bachelor lead said on the After the Final Rose special in March 2022 that they are together, even though he broke up with her before dumping Rachel and Gabby on the season finale. Whether that's just too much baggage for Clayton and Susie to overcome remains to be seen, but we have our doubts - on the flip side, Matt James proved us wrong, so ...
Dr. Travis Stork and Sarah Stone were broken up so fast, they got to talk about it on the After the Final Rose special. And they lived in the same city, so it's not like the distance factor played any role at all. Pretty impressive!
Jake Pavelka chose Vienna Girardi with his final rose on The Bachelor. By the time The Bachelorette aired a few months later, the two had broken up in epic fashion ... and this interview with Chris Harrison shows you why.
Take your pick with this guy. He got engaged to Hannah Ann Sluss on his season finale, then dumped her before that even made it to air, then got back together with Madison Prewett, then split with her two days later. You read that correctly. To think that the pilot could've had either of them had he been willing to commit, yet lost both in spectacular fashion while his mom became a meme is quite something, even by this show's standards. He later went on to date Kelley Flanagan (pictured), an early-season castoff from his season, for nine months. Then they broke up as well after his desired move to NYC apparently took priority over her. Fourth time's the charm in 2021?
Jesse Palmer, former NFL quarterback and current sports TV analyst, did not propose to Jessica Bowlin. They continued to date but broke up just weeks later. On the plus side, he went on to replace Chris Harrison as Bachelor host, and it was Jesse, not Chris, who presided over the Most Dramatic Finale in Bachelor History in 2022! #irony
Aaron Buerge and Helene Eksterowicz also lasted a matter of weeks. (Yes, this was a real couple on The Bachelor. Show has been on for an eternity.)
Bob Guiney did not propose to Estella Gardinier, but gave her a promise ring indicating that they would still date … for like a month it turned out.
Lorenzo Borghese did not propose to Jennifer Wilson, and it's a good thing too, because their short-lived relationship ended in January 2007, just a month after his season finale.
Andrew Firestone got engaged to Jen Schefft, but it lasted only two months. She went on to star as The Bachelorette, where her breakup came even faster.
The first-ever Bachelor, Alex Michel did not propose to Amanda Marsh, but instead they entered into a relationship which ended after a few months. His runner-up Trista Rehn was featured on the first season of The Bachelorette, where she met, then married, Ryan Sutter.
Chris Soules got engaged to The Bachelor winner, Whitney Bischoff, and many thought this one was pretty much a perfect fit. Oh how wrong we were again. Not even two months after the finale, they announced they were parting ways. During Covid he had a fling with Victoria Fuller, incidentally.
Brad Womack (Take 2)
At the conclusion of his second stint as The Bachelor, Brad Womack was briefly engaged to Emily Maynard. That ended pretty quickly, as she was single again in a matter of months.
Tessa Horst and Andy Baldwin called off their engagement one month after the finale, but continued their relationship for a few more months before breaking up for good.
Matt Grant and Shayne Lamas never seemed like a great fit. They weren't, lasting only a couple of months outside The Bachelor mansion. Fortunately for Shayne, she went on to marry the GOAT Nik Richie. (The two split in 2021 but have a beautiful family together.)
Nick Viall and Vanessa Grimaldi lasted approximately 3-4 months after their season finale was taped, which exceeded the expectations of most observers by approximately 3-4 months. Yes, you read that correctly. That's what we call setting a low bar.
Juan Pablo Galavis
This is how challenging it's been to make love last on The Bachelor: Juan Pablo is in the top half of the rankings. Nikki Ferrell somehow stuck it out with Galavis for over six months, despite him not proposing or telling her he loved her or showing any redeeming qualities whatsoever quite frankly.
Charlie O'Connell chose Sarah Brice, but did not propose. They began dating, but broke up in September 2007 ... then got back together in 2008 before splitting for good in 2010. So this was moderately successful by the show's low standards.
Ben Flajnik and Courtney Robertson originally broke up in February 2012 while their season was airing. However, they were later reconciled and got engaged for the second time, but broke up again in October 2012 for good. All the reverse cowgirling in the world couldn't salvage a total mismatch between the wine maker and the model. Did she mention she does modeling?
Byron Velvick and Mary Delgado were together for five years, but never married ... and were involved in some domestic altercations that somewhat marred what could have been a fairy tale success story.
Ben Higgins and Lauren Bushnell are going all the way ... or so we thought for about a year. We had a feeling that these crazy kids really were going to make it, but alas, May 2017 came around and they split. Still, pretty good effort under the circumstances.
Colton Underwood and Cassie Randolph lasted over a year, following a turbulent courtship on the ABC series, and by virtue of that, well, they defied critics and jumped to the front of the pack. Sure, it didn't work out, but by taking it slow, and largely out of the public eye, they gave themselves a great chance to make love last. That's all you can ask for, and as they said in their statement announcing their split, some people are just meant to be friends ... who then try to monetize their breakup and have restraining orders filed against them, before they come out as gay. Yeah ... that was a lot.
For a time, it looked like our 2021 leading man and his final rose recipient, Rachael Kirkconnell, would be near the bottom of the pack. Matt James' #1 pick all season long found herself embroiled in scandal before the finale even aired; Chris Harrison's attempt to defend the racially-charged photos from her college days only wound up making it worse. By the time the After the Final Rose special came along, Matt and Rachael had never been engaged and already broken up - but here's the shocking part. They've since reconciled and are still together to this day!
Sean Lowe, who wooed Emily Maynard on The Bachelorette and was heartbroken to be let go, went on to marry Catherine Giudici a year after meeting her on The Bachelor. Hardly any controversy has followed him, or them, ever since. Just a good old-fashioned love story. They have three children together, and the two celebrated their seven-year anniversary on January 26, 2021!
Technically, Jason Mesnick and his final rose recipient, Melissa Rycroft, broke off their engagement almost immediately, but because he got back with runner-up Molly Malaney in his now-infamous After the Final Rose switch-up, and has been with her ever since, we're giving him the benefit of the doubt. Jason and Molly have been happily married for a decade and have a daughter together, forming a wonderful blended family with his son from his previous marriage. They are very special.
Arie Luyendyk Jr.
Well, give Arie Luyendyk Jr. this much: He's no Brad Womack, despite many critics comparing the two leads. Arie dumped Becca Kufrin in a matter of weeks, then turned around and got engaged to someone else from the show before the After the Final Rose special ended, and that romance (with Lauren Burnham, pictured) is going strong several years later ... and then some. The two got married and had a baby! Then had two more babies after that! That sound you hear is THG eating its words.