The 68th annual Primetime Emmy Awards have come and gone.
But while most the television world is discussing the winners (yay Tatiana Maslany!!!) and losers, we’re here to talk about the man at the center of the ceremony:
Jimmy Kimmel simply slayed at host. Here’s a look at his very best lines:
On Sarah Paulson’s Plus-One:
“Everyone in LA knows if you want to win, sit next to Marcia Clark. Are you rooting for O.J. to win this time?”
On Kit Harrington:
“Television has the ability to make us laugh and cry and during certain key parts of Game of Thrones, masturbate. Hi Jon Snow, you’re my freebie, you know.”
On the Emmys Being Far More Diverse Than the Oscars:
“The Oscars are now telling people we’re one of their closest friends.”
On Maggie Smith:
“You must be present to win. It’s called the Maggie Smith rule. Why do we keep nominating this woman? She’s treating us like the People’s Choice Awards.”
On Mark Burnett, Who Created The Apprentice:
“If we ever build that wall, he’s the first one we’re throwing over.”
On Who is Going to Win:
“If your show doesn’t have a dragon or a White Bronco in it, go home now.”
On Diversity:
If you are a person of color in our audience tonight, especially if you’re a nominee, please find a white person. It shouldn’t “be hard, I see a bunch of them, please reach out and say, thanks for your bravery.”
On a Certain Empire Star:
“You know Taraji, at this point, you could probably drop the P. Are there other Taraji Henson’s you’re being confused with?”
On Why Transparent Was Nominated as a Comedy:
“Transparent was born a drama, but it identifies as a comedy.”
On Bill Cosby Coming Out to Present:
[After the annoucer announced Cosby was on his way to the stage.] “Don’t worry, he’s not really here. I just wanted to see what you guys would do.”
While Handing Out Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches:
“Raise your hand if you have a gluten allergy. I just want America to see which of their favorite celebrities are the most annoying. And if you’re allergic to peanuts, I guess this is goodbye, because we could only afford one EpiPen.”
A Note to Amy Schumer from Jimmy’s Mom:
“Dear Amy, you’re the funniest woman on television. I wish you were hosting the Emmys this year. I’m your number one fan. Bring back Parks and Rec.”
Juice… Juice… Juice
This was awesome.
This Was Also Awesome
Let’s hope Matt Damon and Kimmel never make up.