In the latest round of overpriced celebrity photos, we’re hearing Splash News’ exclusive pictures of Kate Hudson holding hands with Owen Wilson in Miami are commanding a whopping six-figure sum.
The photos, caption writers will lead you to believe, are the first evidence the twosome have resumed their romance since A) he tried killing himself; and B) rumors surfaced that they began dating again. And those caption writers would be correct!
One source suggests only Us Weekly and People have the budgets to remain in the bidding war against each other, where the price of the pics is expected to go for over $100,000.
The photos will also provide the winning tabloid with a nice sidebar: It’s been reported Owen Wilson had been romancing Marley & Me co-star Jennifer Aniston, which, of course, is now totally false because he’s totally in love with his old blonde flame and would never risk his mental stability to date two A-listers at once.
We know you. You???re like the AP, you crave Britney Spears coverage. What color wig is she wearing? Where is she pretending to be from? Where is she shopping for discount make-up goods? What kind of Benz is she driving?
These are all questions you want answered and updated on an hourly basis. At a minimum. Fortunately, the paparazzi are there for us, chasing Britney as she goes on possible meth binges or just to the supermarket.
Of course this relationship is mutually beneficial, with Britney Spears at one point literally in bed with the people photographing her. And now it???s also mutually self-destructive, with Britney Spears committed and one paparazzo for Splash News keeping it real about the moral indecency this situation has created and has quit his job.
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And we were just saying how great New York City is because you can do drugs and hire prostitutes just about anywhere, and nobody really cares.
Apparently, it’s that the police didn’t care the first 10 times they bought drugs at Splash, but the debauchery came to a halt this Friday, when the 5-0s decided to start saying “no” to the Chelsea blow ring.
Friday night the cops raided seven of the nabe’s nightclubs, and five of the Chelsea clubs were completely shut down:
• Club Deep (W. 22 St. at 5th Ave): undercover cops allegedly purchased marijuana, cocaine and ecstasy.
• View (8th Ave at 23rd St.): undercovers said they bought cocaine and ecstasy.
• Splash (W. 17th St. 5th/6th Aves.): undercovers allegedly bought $2,700 worth of cocaine.
• Spirit (W. 27th St. 10th/11th Aves.): cops said they witnessed assaults, including a stabbing; alcohol being served to minors, as well as drug use and sales.
• Avalon (6th Ave. at 23rd St.): cops reported buying ecstasy.
One clubber’s drug-induced account of the raid:
One dazed and confused clubber at Avalon said musician Teddy Compton was in the middle of his opening act.
“Half way through the set, the volume just plummeted,” said the woman, who asked that her name not be printed. “The NYPD just swarmed in. It was a hell of a lot of cops. The club was just shut down, nobody would tell us why.”
We are totally, totally shocked. Especially at the news that Deep, in fact, did not shut down three days after it opened as per our original un-investigated theory.
RAIDING COPS SHUT 7 CLUBS [Joe McGurk, New York Post]