Sleep-Deprived Caroline Kennedy To Receive Impressive Post-Menopausal Accolade 36608

If 50 truly were the new 40, then Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg wouldn’t be eligible for membership in the AARP. Thankfully, the expression is devoid of actual meaning, and the former first daughter will be dutifully honored by the non-profit organization of choice for quinquagenarians. The AP reports:

Caroline Kennedy turned 50 Tuesday, becoming eligible for membership in AARP. But the nonprofit organization for people 50 and over has bigger plans for Kennedy…The former first daughter is featured on the cover of the January/February issue of AARP The Magazine, on newsstands next month, and will receive the magazine’s Inspire Award next week.

The aging mother of three (who has reportedly raised “tens of millions of dollars” for New York City public schools and was active in the provocatively named “Advancement of Colored People’s Legal Defense”) is said to be thrilled that her lifelong efforts at evoking political, racial and socio-economical change have finally been recognized.

Meanwhile, inside sources claim they’ve always known Caroline to be inspirational, noting that this pivotal life achievement was “almost as exciting” as finding out she “inspired” the Neal Diamond song, “Sweet Caroline.”