The Hello Kitty shoulder massager-turned-sex toy (that reportedly “sold like crazy” in adult shops across the country and left numerous denizens asking purveyors at Babeland and pervs on ebay for the “Hello Kitty vibrator”) has finally returned! Two years after being discontinued, the “portable massager, featuring a pink or black shaft and a handle in the shape of a kitten with a matching hair bow” (but is totally not a pocket-rocket!) is being reintroduced in Japan.
Meanwhile, the boring vice president of marketing for Sanrio???s American division continues to deny the phallus-shaped massager’s more risque applications: “I have no idea what people may have used it for. The product was marketed as a shoulder massager. That???s what it was sold as.”
Whatever helps you sleep at night, lady! Or, depending on your purview—and use of the Sanrio licensed stress reliever—not.
• Lindsay Lohan heads to hospital not for exhaustion, but for appendectomy. Girl better have a scar next time she hits the beach, or we’re gonna egg Leslie Sloane Zelnik.
• When Brandon Davis sits around the house, he really sits around the house!
• HX drops sales staff. Ex-employees commiserate over drinks, partially-clothed men at Splash.
• Up for a Happy Hour? The New York Times encourages you to drink a big, fat pint of absinthe.
• Meanwhile, celebs are boozing it up on the new “Sonoma Diet.”
• SAG nominations announced, because Oscar buzz isn’t ringing in your ears already.
• Bruce Headlam named to fancy new NYT media/marketing editing position. Good luck, Rebecca Dana!
• Maitre d’ all-star Abbe Diaz and ex-Jossiper/current-Page Sixer Corynne Steindler sit down to dinner at Gusto, and scandal almost ensues.