Though Hell’s Kitchen megaclub Pacha took home seven of 11 Club World Awards this year, it can’t stay out of the negative limelight. We hear the space was shuttered Saturday night. Something to do with an OD, says a source. Rumors has it they’ll be open next weekend, just in time for you to be over Pacha again.
When we think about what’s missing from the Meatpacking District, normally things like cabs, class, and people we don’t want to punch in the face come to mind.
Oh, yeah, and an enormous Long Island magnet in the form of a comedy club. Introducing Comix, the latest club gimmick to hit NYC. Via an “industry insider” (yes, media whores there are other industries out there):
Coming soon to the Meatpacking District???????Comix: a 14,000-sq. ft. new upscale comedy venue unlike anything that????????s currently in NYC. Will be booked by Wende Curtis of Denver’s Comedy Works and local scenester Rachele ???????Rocky??????? Benloulou-Dubin. The plan is to bring major comedic talent to the 320-seat showroom while pouring cocktails in the upstairs and downstairs lounges.
The thing we’re most excited about? We finally have an excuse to continue ignoring Pacha and start laughing in people’s faces when we walk down the street.
Now all they need to open is a karate center so we have an excuse to start kick them in the head.
No, “Late Night with Hillary” is not a lesbian horror flick. It is instead a February 21st Hillary Clinton bash planned to gain support for the senator’s re-election. Originally, the party was scheduled to be held at the may-or-may-not-be-closing Hell’s Kitchen-ish club, Pacha.
Then, inexplicably, (or maybe because the event planners heard Pacha wasn’t doing so hot?) the party was switched to Crobar.
The thing we don’t quite understand is why on earth a politician would throw a party at either of these skeeved out places. And if they were going to pick a club to throw some kind of senate ball at, why wouldn’t they at least choose The Pink Elephant?
Related: Pacha update: People still going to dance/laugh at themselves
We asked for your gossip and you, in turn, replied. By telling us we are totally wrong but still. We heard that there was nobody going Pacha these past few weeks and that, according to our source, the club was headed for a major shut-down.
One reader/tipster, however, has a different version of the story, so to be fair, we’re putting it out there. (Our fact-checkers are still too hopped up from their failed attempts at Alan Cumming fact-checking to confirm any of this story, either.)
I have been to Pacha a few times since it????????s opening- most recently on Saturday night this past weekend. Eric Morillo, whom I believe is a partial owner of the club, was on for approx. 14 hours and the place was packed to the brim ??????? yes the Friday night crowds have been lacking — but with resident DJs like Mike Whitmore and Exacta- former Crobar residents- the place has got to pick up once the word gets out.
One major issue is the bad publicity Pacha has received- predominantly due to the flashbacks of the Sound Factory from yesteryear. This is not the Sound Factory- the staff is better/more friendly, the layout is better, and the vibe is one of smiles and fun rather than drugged up club dwellers of the later 90s.
Of course people are smiling — those shower people look totally ridiculous! But, thanks for the tip. Maybe if we wouldn’t consider it social suicide to actually go there, we could do some of this original type reporting stuff ourselves.
Earlier: Predictions: The peril of Pacha
How do you know a club is going to collapse faster than Lindsy Lohan can tattoo breathe on her wrist? When you’ve only been open for about two months and Friday nights are so empty, your photographers can’t even get a decent photo with people in it.
Pacha, with all its showering promise and writhing bathing suit glory, it turns out, is really starting to drive away their clientel. And not in a “we’re so Boulevard posh” kind of way, but in a “we have to hire a special promotions photographer to start a campaigne begging people to come to our club” kind of way.
Is it the rumors of OD’d has-been celebs falling on the floor? Or the fact that Pacha owners are said to pissing off every DJ in town, causing the crowds to flock to Spotted Pig and such other Lohan viewing venues?
We promise to bring you more updated, specific information as soon as we have significantly tortured our connections enough for them to crack.
In the meantime, should any of you be able to confirm, deny, elaborate, or expand on the demise of the skankiest club in town, please report your findings to tattle@jossip.com. Our reporting time was cut short this weekend by fleeing the hundreds of shootings in Brooklyn, so please, help if you can.
Earlier: Breaking: Give Pacha a chance
Pacha would like to apologize for last week’s ODs
Jiblets: Pacha closed
Ok, we know how much you????????ve all loved our little Jossy awards so far. Today, however, we thought we shake things up a bit with a ??????? Top Ten List! Yay! We kinda???????? felt left out, being the only ones in the world who totally didn????????t have one. Plus, today????????s awards are all about this grand city we call our own, and so we had to get a bit pickier.
Even though New York can sometimes be a real bitch, we love her. We do. After all, she allows us to live here when no other city will have us. And since New Yorkers are the best people in the world, and nobody can tell us we????????re not, everything we do is so New York (translation: fuckin’ fabulous).
So what if celebrities don????????t get smashed into by paparazzi or get caught on camera snorting mad blow in our city? Some things happened in ????????05 that were so big, they so belong on our So New York in 2005 list. We’ve narrowed it down to 10, and each one gets our love/hate, but only #1 wins the Jossy! (After the jump, blah, blah, blah.)
10. The Westside Stadium, which thankfully never was
9. The 2012 Olympics, which thankfully never will be
8. Pacha, the club of clubs. You can stay there all night — and still shower before work
7. New York magazine‘s “Hottest New Yorkers” issue (even though we weren????????t in it)
6. The week in which the 6 train completely stopped running, like, everyday.
5.Per Se giving NYC a glimpse of dining in L.A.
4. Peter Braunstein wiggin???????? out like a maniac on Halloween
3. Jake Gyllenhaal, Peter Sarsgard, and Maggie Gyllenhaal lunching with Jake’s puppy in SoHo
2. The two shows that make everyone hate women and New Yorkers: PowerR Girls and Gastineau Girls
And finally, the winner of Jossip’s So New York in 2005 Award goes to:
CONTINUED »
As if best buds Nick Lachey and A.J. Discala both cheating on their wives weren’t enough male bonding time, now Nick is being encouraged to sell the story of hiis break-up with Jessica Simpson to OK! Magazine. This is just seedy on so many levels—though it does shed light on that section in the divorce papers where Jessica insists that Nick shouldn’t owe her any money. (Uh, cuz he doesn’t have any?)
Maybe the two will earn a little dough on their new investment, considering Nick’s career is pretty much dead, and we don’t think A.J had one to begin with.
Another venture that Lachey and DiScala are said to be in on together is as investors in the skeevy new club Pacha where scantily clad women writhe in a shower.
“[Lachey] wants to keep it quiet. But it’s genius ???????? it’s like Donald Trump owning a modeling agency!”
We’re not really sure what that means, but, anything that involves Nick Lachey, OK Magazine, Jessica Simpson, and Pacha is about the farthest thing from genius we can think of.
NOT OK! FOR JESSICA [Richard Johnson, Page Six]
Even though our knack for hyperbole didn’t piss off Pacha (hey, they sent us an invite for this weekend didn’t they?) someone was a little miffed at our exaggertory tendancies.
So, we retract our previous un-fact-checked statement that people were “passing out all over the place” on Friday night. Turns out it was just one Kate Moss wannabe who was ODing Colin Farrell style. Observes one Pacha goer:
I was there, and witnessed the ONE and ONLY chick who was on something pass out (it wasn’t booze). The TRUE story is that the cops came because of NY Post pic. of AJ Soprano who is 20–drinking a bottle of Vodka on front page on Thurs…. .but they NEVER shut the place down.
Once the cops came in to make sure there wasn’t overcrowding (and shut music and turned on lights) they left–but mgmt. apparently felt that the vibe was already done, and decided to bite the bullet and close for the night. Some Ppl were there til 3 AM. The OD chick was AFTER the cops got there, and no big deal. Check around–she went to another club later that night and was bragging about it.
NYC needs another big club, and this place seems cool enough. Give it a chance.
For the record, though: we do sort of consider ODing on anything but booze kind of a big deal.
Related: Pacha would like to apologize for last week’s ODs
Jiblets: Jen gets peeved at pesky rascals
Dancing, Drugs & Bathing: Pacha has it all
Landing in our inbox this morning was more than an invitation to Pacha on Friday — it was confirmation that our Monday report about Pacha closing down Friday night because so many people overdosed was, ahem, right on target.
Reads the invite: “We would like to make up for last Friday with a special invitation for this Friday.” No better way to get the Meatpacking crowd to give you a second chance than with an offer to get in free before midnight.
(Click image for larger version.)
Earlier: Jiblets: Pacha closed
Related: All Pacha and Nightlife coverage
• You knew Demi Moore could strip, ahem, we mean dance, but did you know she sings the same bad kareoke songs one might overhear while sloshed in the East Village? [Page Six]
• Will Jennifer Aniston still be sunbathing topless at 60? You betcha. [The Scoop]
• Lindsay Lohan’s parents officially divorce. We hope this doesn’t mean her teenage angst is over with. [People]
• Pacha closed at 1 am on Friday night because people were OD-ing Colin Farrell style all over the place. So we heard…but we can’t afford fact-checkers, so it could all be hype.
• New York is full of gays. And horny NYU girls who aren’t gettin’ any. [E!]
Three years ago, Sopranos star Robert Iler was busted on the Upper East Side for robbing a pair of tourists (and carrying pot), landing three years probation. And at Wednesday night’s opening of Pacha – the club with a shower, if you recall, or “Pasha” as the Post calls it – it was clear Iler hadn’t learned his lesson: The Post photographed him swigging directly from a bottle of Imperia (cig in the other hand, natch) while “sister” co-star and recent divorcee Jamie-Lynn Sigler looked on, displeased.
Iler, meanwhile, is just a juvenile 20 years old. And Pacha’s holding the official line that they have no idea how he got his hands on the liquor. No idea. None. Not. A. One.
Boozy Bro ‘A.J.’ Shocks ‘Sopranos’ Sis [Bill Hoffmann, NYP]
Related: Dancing, Drugs & Bathing: Pacha has it all
After their run as the Doublemint twins, just where did Takinya and Cipriani Quann take their careers? To Pacha, the Spanish-import of a nightclub opening to a select few (hundred) tonight that lets you skip that after-work shower, since you’ll have the option of taking it in the middle of the dance floor.
It put the sleaze in Ibiza and now it’s going to celebrate the sleaze in New York. And where else to shove it but the West Side Highway, where $3 million and eight months of construction yielded another playground for $600 bottles of Cristal and, thanks to a making-good-on-a-favor publicist, Mischa Barton (if only in name).
While it’s going to take promises of Kate Moss and nose candy to entice us to trek over to the Intrepid’s new neighbor, we’re already in love with Pacha.
Not only will the supra-club help New York claim the title of syphilis capital of America, but it’s a trendy reminder of social pecking order. While getting past the door and accessing V-VIP floor (where you can find A-listers like, ahem, Mischa Barton) can be had with a few C-notes, being invited to join the club’s dancers in the shower is based strictly on your waist and bust size. Rejoice, New York: Superficiality is alive and well.
Spanish Wild Vice Hits NYC [Brian Niemietz, NYP]