• Lindsay Lohan’s new boyfriend is less than pleased that his ex-girlfriend (ex-fiancee??) sold her story to the National Enquirer. So displeased, in fact, that he has lots of misspelled words, hastily typed profanities and grammatically incorrect things to say about it!
• Sadly, Riley “Scary Eyes” Giles will probably deal with his ex’s betrayal by taking a shitload of prescription medications. That he prescribed himself.
• Who wants to be the next Ozzy Osbourne? Apparently, everyone!
• Russell Crowe doesn’t want his sons acting. Presumably because he’s afraid it will turn them into self-important douchebags who cheat on their wives.
• Sorry, pervs. Summer Roberts (fine, Rachel Bilson) is way too classy to show you her “Britney.”
Not surprising: Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne are more excited about seeing “The Queen” then they are about seeing the President.
Sort-of surprising: “The Queen” is actually a clever euphemism for Elton John.
[NYDN]
• Sharon Stone accidentally confuses her dress with a used tampon.
• Jared Leto finally shares his weight loss secret: curry powder and mediocre romps in the sack.
• We never thought we’d actually say this, but Amanda Peet could actually (gulp) benefit from the overpriced services of vapid raisin-face Rachel Zoe.
• Ozzy Osbourne reminds us all you need is sex, drugs, rock n’ roll and…Botox?
• A bikini clad Pamela Anderson shows us, Kid Rock why she’s still worth sucker-punching Tommy Lee smack in the middle of Alicia Keys’ performance at the VMA’s for.
• Apparently, the downside to being one of the numerous third world street urchins adopted by Brangelina is you have to sleep in their bed. (Or wait, was that the upside?)
• Paris Hilton’s definition of contrition apparently involves SPF 8 and a skimpy green bikini.
• When you squint your eyes and look at Ozzy Osbourne from a certain angle, it almost looks as though he’s sleeping with Ashton Kutcher.
• Lindsay Lohan is not pleased that the results of her toxicology tests were leaked, hence the whole “I’m totally taking this second stint in rehab more seriously” PR blitz.
• We’ve all heard the old saying (and a crappy 80’s pop song) “opposites attract.” And yet, for whatever reason, the smart, sober demographic failed to tune in for the premiere of Paula Abdul’s new reality show.
• Before you judge Rebecca Gayheart for grabbing her hubby’s crotch in public, just ask yourself how much restraint you’d have if you were married to Dr. McSteamy.