Cable Quotables 34249

As the week winds down and we slowly slip into “weekend mode” (something that generally involves wearing short-shorts and consuming copious amounts of libations) it’s nice to take a moment or two and completely zone out reflect on the more poignant thoughts articulated by our favorite tv pundits. So let Intern Wendy take you on a stroll down memory lane. We promise you’ll never look at Anderson Cooper the same way again.

• “Very quickly, if you are a working stripper, someone who takes their clothes off for a living, and you are supporting Ron Paul, we want to hear from you. MSNBC, give us a buzz.” Tucker Carlson, doing his patriotic duty, Tucker, August 21

• “Yes, if he gets Britney, Lindsay, and Paris, they could maybe try to open a successful liquor store. We do not have any customers, but we are sold out.” Joel McHale, previewing Donald Trump???s “Celebrity Apprentice,” Countdown, August 20

• “If you see some remarkable animal, some kittens nursing something, tell us about it—or some dogs nursing something, or some dogs nursing kittens, really anything, send it to us.” Anderson Cooper, getting freaky about interspecies nursing, Anderson Cooper 360, August 21

• “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, Sibila. Hold on. To the control room and to Liz. Liz, I don`t understand the significance of showing Lindsay Lohan in a bikini. I’ll let you think about that during Sibila’s — yes, it’s not funny — during Sibila’s next comment.??? Nancy Grace, discovering that payback???s a bitch, Nancy Grace, August 22

• “I know the answer to this question, but for Joe???s purposes. What???s it like to have all these women competing for you?” Willie Geist, sharing hot babe stories with Bret Michaels, Morning Joe, August 23