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• When your daughter is Kim Kardashian and your son is Brody Jenner, it’s kinda hard to pick just one “black sheep” of the family.

• In honor of Dumbledore’s coming out (or, more likely, just because) someone with even more free time than us has compiled a highlight reel of Jon Stewart’s best same-sex shoutouts.

• Our little sister Stereohyped likes Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain. Especially while waiting to interview Ciara on the red carpet of her fifth (yep, fifth) “official” birthday soirée.

• Bambi places in the top 25 horror films since, as it turns out, the only thing worse than a cannibalistic Hannibal Lector and a chainsaw rearing Mike Meyers or a psychotic clown is the shooting of a cartoon doe.

• Men’s Vogue sales drop 25%; a Conde Nast flack responds with disproportionate optimism. Because disingenuous enthusiasm will totally save her from the wrath of Anna Wintour.

• Britney Spears gives Dallas Cowboys QB Tony Romo the lapdance of his nightmares. Talk about unnecessary roughness!