• By “Columbia” Bruce Willis meant “the bathroom stall at Bungalow Kate Moss and Lindsay Lohan just walked out of.” [R&M]
• We feel the best way to respect Bernard LaCoste’s memory is by passing a law forbidding Kevin Federline from ever wearing the alligator logo. Ever. [NYT]
• Paris Hilton is still tramping around. But because she ran out of semi-famous people, she’s trapping guys who nobody’s ever heard of. (Makes it a little hard to be obsessed.) [The Scoop]
• Sorry Mariah Carey, Louis Vuitton only hires models that are smaller than their bags. [SFG]
• Cindy Adams has resorted to taking diet tips from the crypt. [Cindy Adams]