Apparently, former boy banders who currently have protruding bellies, no job prospects, and overly high opinions of themselves are still awfully picky when it comes to choosing a mate. Take, for instance, Nick Carter, who flatly nixed the possibility of reuniting with former flame Paris Hilton. His reasoning? She isn’t “intelligent” enough.
At the risk of inviting ridicule, we beg to disagree. Knock Paris all you like, but she’s impressively managed to parlay slightly above average looks, zero talent and a famous last name into boldface status, independent wealth and a burgeoning career as, well, someone who gets paid a small fortune to show up at parties long enough to say “That’s hot” and have her picture taken.
Meanwhile, everything self-proclaimed intellect Nick Carter has done post-Backstreet Boys can be neatly summed up as follows: failed solo career, failed acting career, failed reality show, failed relationship with Kathy Griffin. Yep, sounds like this boy-genius has it all figured out!
CONTINUED »
• Sienna Miller isn’t dating “that gross dude from Notting Hill.” They’re just sporting matching tattos. And wearing the exact same size in women’s jeans.
• Raise your hand if you think Paula Abdul is ready to procreate. Hmmm, let’s try this again. Raise your hand if you’re someone other than Paula Abdul.
• Demi Moore lets too much time elapse in between Botox appointments.
• Pervy manager Lou Perlman gives us another reason to “just say no” to boy bands.
• Even gorgeous movies stars instinctively suck in their tummies when cute (if effeminate) boys are around.
• Cameron Diaz has an unglamorous Marilyn Monroe moment. Fortunately, the cameras are right there to capture it.
Which aging boy bander has proposed to his NYC waitress girlfriend several times already, and they???ve known each other 10 days? She keeps saying no.
Follow-up question: What kind of person is so desperate to date an aging boy bander that she hasn’t run screaming for the exits despite the fact that her boyfriend of 10 days has this annoying habit of proposing marriage to a woman he hardly knows?
Also: At this point, couldn’t all boy banders be accurately described as “aging?”