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Maroon 5‘s front man, Adam Levine, has been telling the whole world the reason he broke up with tennis star Maria Sharapova.

“She wouldn’t make any noise during sex,” Levine said. “I can’t tell you how disappointed I was. I really thought, like a lot of guys, that she’d be the loud screaming type. But instead, she just lay there like a dead frog. She even got angry if I started to moan, said it ‘ruined her concentration.’ It was so disillusioning that I went on Paxil for a month afterwards. Really, it was much more of a shock than when I found out there’s no such thing as the Easter Bunny.”

The lesson here – don’t date Adam Levine. Regardless of how you are in the sack, the whole world is gonna hear about it. I mean, who does that? Is he in high school? I bet I know where Maria would like to stick her tennis racket.