Apparently, one superfluous mention of Manhattan restaurateur—and Page Six benefactor—Nello Balan was not nearly enough. Yesterday’s rambling, uninteresting report (that Balan’s $1000 was borrowed and inadvertently broken by a leggy model) was promptly followed up by the revelation that said model may, in fact, be dating Owen Wilson. By which, of course, we mean was spotted taking a class with him at Bikram Yoga! Presumably, after meeting him during one of his famous open-door peeing parties.
Frankly, we’re happy for Owen but can’t help feeling just a little bit disappointed with Page Six. Not just for rehashing the boring umbrella story and for continuing to placate the man who gives them generous cash donations around the holidays, but for not even putting any effort into it. After the jump, the item in full and our analysis. Pay special attention to the noticeable absence of kicker/purpose.
WE hope Owen Wilson didn’t lend his new “mystery girl” any personal items. It turns out the unknown leggy lass he’s been biking all over the city with is Nello Balan’s latest nemesis, model/umbrella breaker, Le Call. The pedaling pair was spotted around town last week. Spies say they attended a private dinner for Damien Hirst at Lever House Saturday and took a yoga class together at Bikram Yoga in SoHo earlier in the week. We reported yesterday that Le Call borrowed a $1,000 umbrella from Balan when she left his eatery over the summer and returned it just last week – cracked in two pieces.
Yawn. Fortunately, we’ve got a suggestion! How about, say, keeping the crap about the yoga class and then musing, “If only Nello Balan’s $1000 umbrella had been equally as bendy!”
Or, better yet, you could also try, you know, not writing any more about the man best known for suing one-named models and bribing gossip columnists in the hopes of receiving superfluous mentions in their columns.
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