Bill Cosby is Just Like Jesus Now, Publicist Explains

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Bill Cosby is a convicted rapist who will spend at least the next three years behind bars.

So says the United States legal system.

On Tuesday afternoon, Cosby was sentenced to 3-10 years in state prison due to his sexual assault of a former Temple University employee named Andrea Constand in 2004.

Bill Cosby Handcuffed

But Bill Cosby is also a martry who is going to jail for our sins and who is just like the very famous Son of God.

So says the comedian's publicist.

In remarks to the press after his client was handcuffed in court and taken away to jail, Andrew Wyatt said the following just a short while ago.

And he said it with a straight face.

“They persecuted Jesus and look what happened."

He also referred to Cosby's ordeal as "the most racist and sexist trial in the history of the United States.”

Wyatt went on to say that Cosby “is fine [and] holding up well. Anyone who wants to say anything negative, you’re a joke as well.”

Bill Cosby, Pre-Sentencing

Back in April, after Cosby was found guilty of drugging and assaulting Constand, Wyatt went on television and slammed the outcome as a "public lynching."

He compared Cosby at that time to Emmett Till, the black teenager who was murdered in 1955 in Mississippi after being falsely accused of flirting with a white woman.

But didn't 60-plus women accuse Cosby of rape in this instance, George Stephanopoulos asked on ABC’s Good Morning America?

Didn't they all detail a similar story to that of Constand, to whom Cosby slipped drugs and then took advantage of while she was in a groggy, nearly unconscious state?

“May I ask a question?” Wyatt replied. “Since when are all people honest? Since when are all women honest? We can take a look at Emmett Till, for example. Not all people are honest.”

Bill Cosby statement

In this latest case of hilarious/depressing verbal diarrhea, Wyatt continued as follows:

"Dr. Cosby has been one of the greatest civil rights leaders in the United States for over the last 50 years. He has also been one of the greatest educators of men and boys over the last 50 years.

"This was not pointed out to the jury or allowed in court because the racist and sexist mass media was attacking and denouncing Dr. Cosby whenever his lawyers even hinted there was racism and sexism present."

Wyatt also alleges that "falsified evidence" was used against Cosby and that Judge Brett Kavanaugh is part of a "sex war" in America and that's why his nomination for the Supreme Court is now in jeopardy. 

(Kavanaugh has been accused by two women of sexual misconduct.)

Bill Cosby, In Shame

But whatever.

Enough is enough when it comes to a synchophant such as Wyatt.

"This was a serious crime," Montgomery County, Pennsylvania, Judge Steven O'Neill said today in the only remarks that matter.

He concluded:

"Mr. Cosby, this has all circled back to you. The day has come, the time has come."


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