If you have a weak stomach, Bill Cosby's decade-old testimony that was read in court today might not be for you.
His 2005 description of the his "encounter" with Andrea Constand is nothing short of sickening.
Remember: we're talking about his descriptions, in his own words.
You expect an accuser's description of her sexual assault to be horrifying, because rape is one of the worst things in existence.
But usually people defending themselves from sexual assault charges have a version of events that sounds much better.
Though she was expected to stand by his side, Cosby's wife hasn't actually shown up in court.
Since she presumably still supports him, perhaps she just didn't want to hear the facts of the case.
Or maybe her husband warned her that she didn't need to hear them.
Especially today's haunting testimony.
Bill Cosby describes the event, in which he claims that he gave Andrea Constand one and a half tablets of over-the-counter Benadryl before their encounter turned sexual.
"We began to pet. Touching and kissing with clothes on."
That, were it not for the fact that we've already heard that Andrea felt paralyzed, unable to move or resist, would sound pretty innocuous.
There was breast-grabbing and, you know, what you'd expect to hear in a molestation trial like this.
In that same transcript, Cosby claims that Andrea never objected, and that he only ever wanted to take things as far as they went.
"I never intended to have full intercourse, like naked bodies, with Andrea."
That's ... something, we guess. Though not exactly noble of him.
"I don’t like it. I like the petting, the touching."
That is the creepiest possible phrasing for that.
It sounds less like real world testimony and more like dialogue from a hair-raising scene on Criminal Minds.
Or like something from Law & Order: SVU.
Which, we guess, makes sense in its own gross way.
Something about how life imitates art, right?
We have no idea how Cosby's supporters continue to stand by him.
It's not just the volume of accusations, though surely even "just" 5 accusers should be enough to get people to cut ties with an otherwise well-loved celebrity.
But more than 50?
At this point, we wonder if there's anything that could persuade the people who still believe him.
A recording of an assault? An admission?
Something tells us that if they're in this far, they're not going to back out for anything. Even if he's convicted.
Which means that even this creepy, creepy testimony won't sway them.
What matters, though, is what the jury thinks.
As Keshia Knight Pulliam said: "This is where the truth happens."
It's just that her idea of what the "truth" is might not reflect reality at all.