We hope you're sitting down for this one, readers.
And we hope you're looking away for a few moments, Justin Bieber.
Because we've got a major bombshell to drop that may very well explode the Internet into a billion tiny pieces.
And here it is:
SELENA GOMEZ IS PREGNANT WITH THE WEEKND'S BABY AND THE SINGERS ARE GOING TO GET MARRIED AND OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We're not making this up, folks.
Well... we're not making up the fact that Life & Style has run a cover story that screams about how (Friends Say Selena Is a) PREGNANT BRIDE!
In bullet points underneath this main headline, the unreliable tabloid says Gomez is having “cravings,” coming up with “baby names” and pondering “details” about her “wedding” to The Weeknd.
Family and friends apparently recently learned of this “shocking development,” although both Bella Hadid and Bieber are trying to “break” the couple “up.”
Gomez and The Weeknd are actually dating. This much is not really up for dispute.
The artists went public with their romance in mid-January when they held hands and kissed outside of a restaurant in Los Angeles.
Since then, Gomez has come under some fire because she's pretty good friends with Hadid, who previously dated The Weeknd for about two years.
According to a TMZ source, Gomez and her relatively new boyfriend started their romance not long after he and Hadid split, with Selena not saying a word to Hadid about it until the latter saw photos on the Internet.
If that's true, it was not Selena's best move.
Hadid is no longer following Gomez on Instagram and has released a handful of sexy photos online in recent days, seemingly as a way to taunt The Weeknd.
But he and Selena appear to be undeterred.
They've been spotted hanging out at Dave & Buster's and even jetted off for a romantic getaway in Italy.
Things are definitely moving fast between the stars, but does this mean Gomez is expecting a baby and the two are planning a wedding? We can't say for certain.
It's also worth noting that Life & Style also claimed Gomez was knocked up awhile back by DJ Zedd.
Remember this cover claim?
And Gomez was once also rumored to be pregnant by Bieber.
We don't know why magazines seem so obsessed by the state of Selena's womb, but here we are.
Selena took a couple months off toward the end of 2016, stepping back significantly from the spotlight in order to get her head screwed back on straight after a fight with Bieber.
Reports indicated that she even checked into rehab for a period of time.
So we'd like to think she didn't go ahead and accidentally get herself pregnant out of wedlock, so soon after making an effort to turn her life around.
But, hey, if Gomez really is pregnant, at least The Weeknd is doing the right thing and committing to the mother of his impending child.
The only question remaining now is this:
What do we call Gomez and The Weeknd? What should be their celebrity couple nickname?
It's gotta just be The Gomez, right?