Dog Poop Meets, Destroys Roomba in Epic Facebook Post

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It's been well documented at this point how much dogs love to ride Roombas.

An adorable case in point:

But an Arkansas father named Jesse Newton has seen his Facebook post go viral after he wrote about how much his Roomba loves his dog.

Or his dog's POOP, we should say.

Are you ready to hear about the “poohpocalypse?”

This tragic event took place late on the night of August 1, after the family dog, Evie, relieved herself on the carpet.

The messy incident took place between midnight and 1:30 a.m., which is when the Roomba was set on automatic to clean.

Newton eventually discovered what happened and felt the need to chronicle the story on Facebook, lest is happen to anyone else he cares about it.

"Do not, under any circumstances, let your Roomba run over dog poop," Newton wrote.

Why not? He explained...

"Because if that happens, it will spread the dog poop over every conceivable surface within its reach, resulting in a home that closely resembles a Jackson Pollock poop painting.

"It will be on your floorboards. It will be on your furniture legs. It will be on your carpets. It will be on your rugs. It will be on your kids' toy boxes. If it's near the floor, it will have poop on it.

"Those awesome wheels, which have a checkered surface for better traction, left 25-foot poop trails all over the house. Our lovable Roomba, who gets a careful cleaning every night, looked like it had been mudding.

"Yes, mudding - like what you do with a Jeep on a pipeline road. But in poop."

poop FB

Newton's post has so far been shared over 318,000 times.

As you can see, Newton included a hilarious, hand-drawn diagram of the damage.

He went on explain that he was made aware of the disaster when his 4-year-old son climbed into his bed at 3 a.m.

“You’ll wonder why he smells like dog poop. And you’ll walk into the living room. And you’ll wonder why the floor feels slightly gritty,” he wrote. “And then the horror. Oh the horror.”

Newton then had to clean the tool.

"You toss it in the bathtub to let it soak. You pull it apart, piece-by-piece …  

"By this point, the poop isn't just on your hands - it's smeared up to your elbows. Oh, and you're not just using profanity - you're inventing new types of profanity. You're saying things that would make Satan shudder in revulsion.

"You hope your kid stayed in bed, because if he hears you talking like this, there's no way he's not ending up in prison."

a cute dog

This self-proclaimed “Pooptastrophe” did have a silver lining:

Hammacher Schlemmer replaced the Roomba for free and also sent along a new bed for the dog!

You can see it above.

Concluded Newton after this disgusting, uproarious tale came to an end:

“I’m very sorry I made so many people cry at work and spit various liquids out of their noses!"

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