Will and Kate Get The Crown! Camilla Deemed Too Drunk To Rule!

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Drunk in-laws, amiright?

Kate Middleton and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall: 2012 Trooping the Colour

In this chapter of "insane royal rumors," we visit the life and times of Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall.  Specifically, her love for the bottle.

According to Celebrity Dirty Laundry, Camilla gets drunk quite often and verbally abuses Prince Charles.  He's so terrified of her, it's said, that he won't even bring up a "long-term inpatient rehabilitation facility" for fear that she'll somehow beat the crap out of him (personal protection officers be damned!).

"Poor Prince Charles has taken the brunt of Camilla Parker-Bowles verbal abuse if Royal insiders are to be believed," CDL write.

"The Duchess of Cornwall supposedly gets raging drunk and screams at the Prince of Wales – once telling the heir-to-the-throne to 'grow a pair and demand his birthright 'from Queen Elizabeth."

Camilla's drunken rants are becoming so bad that the Queen will probs abdicate the throne after her 90th birthday in April, and hand the crown over to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

Listen, I'm sure there has been a lushy consort here and there in the grand history of the British monarchy.  You do what any good royal PR office would do and let her dry out in the country.

Also, there is no way on God's green earth that 1) Her Majesty will abdicate the throne 2) She'll "skip" Charles in favor of Prince William.

Charles is the rightful heir to the throne, and will become King when his mother passes away.

As for his relationship with Camilla, anyone who knows anything about the royal family can see that he adores her, and vice versa. 

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