It looks like 2016 might be the year that Leonardo DiCaprio takes home a coveted golden trophy that will no doubt earn a permanent place in his bedroom.
Sadly, it won't be Kelly Rohrbach.
Yes, after beating the odds and spending the better part of a year together, DiCaprio and Rohrbach have called it quits.
People magazine is reporting today that the couple actually went their separate ways quite some time ago, but kept the breakup under wraps so that it wouldn't overshadow promotions for
Gimme a Damn Oscar: The Movie The Revenant.
"They have been broken up for a few months now," says one insider. "They are very friendly and it's super amicable."
Naturally, Leo's reps relied on the old "too busy" excuse to allay suspicions that Leo suffered a full-blown panic attack after realizing that Kelly is approaching her late twenties.
"They are both so busy and he's got a big movie coming out and she's one of the biggest supermodels in the world," said a source in the actor's camp. "There is no other person in the picture."
Yes, apparently Kelly Rohrbach is one of the world's biggest supermodels. Who knew?
We first learned about Leo and Kelly dating way back in April, which means the 25-year-old has demonstrated a Peyton Manning-like ability to remain relevant for much longer than anyone expected.
At one point, there were even rumors that DiCaprio and Rohrbach were engaged, because the American tabloid press has officially devolved into the world's most elaborate act of trolling.
Anyway, it sounds like life's been tough for Leo lately - or at least as tough as life can get for a guy who switches up his supermodels more frequently than most folks change their oil.
He endured two years of frigid, bearded hell shooting The Revenant; he went through a breakup; and there were even rumors that he got raped by a bear on screen.
At this point, we don't think Best Actor is enough. The needs to win every damn Oscar that there is. Sorry, sound editing contenders. It's just not your year.