Jess tried to prove a point to the guys on New Girl Season 4 Episode 4, which is a recipe for comedic gold nine times out of 10 with this FOX comedy.
Her goal? To prove that women are, collectively, less shallow than men.
Her proof? She will date a less-than-perfect guy and she will love it!
The problem? Said guy has a "micro" penis and is a general d-bag!
When New Girl Season 4 Episode 4 kicks off, Jess gets annoyed at the guys, who are having a graphic and hilarious conversation about boobs at the bar.
Her claims that she is not as shallow as they are quickly laughed off, then forgotten about as Nick points out her wonky knee. That is not structurally sound.
Fleeing her friends, Jess meets a hunk named Matt, who seems like he would be the perfect guy until he reveals his "Micro" penis. It’s REALLY small.
The guys, and likely more than a few people who watch New Girl online, immediately research what that means, and the jokes follow in rapid succession.
Jess agrees to buy Nick a porn site subscription if she will date Matt for more than a month, while Nick will donate $500 to charity if he loses their bet.
Unfortunately for Jess, she finds that Matt is quite dumb and not her type at all, regardless of what is going on (or barely even visible) below the belt.
Meanwhile, Coach and Schmidt can’t stop thinking about "Micro" manhood.
What results is a Classic Cece and Winston Thing as the latter asks if they ever thought about modeling. Come to think of it, that is totally Schmidt’s dream.
Winston and Cece help Coach take photos at the apartment and Cece mentions that her agent is only looking for one male model, triggering a competition.
Jess tells Nick she wants out of the bet for non "Micro" reasons.
Nick refuses to believe that she doesn’t actually like him, but even he can’t avoid it when he meets the guy and Matt takes the hint before long as well.
After she comes clean about why it’s not working, Matt explains his douche personality is a direct result bullying he’s received because of … well, you know.
As Jess comes over later to apologize and make her profound point about how we all have "Micro" flaws, they are interrupted … by his girlfriend.
The girlfriend leaves. Good riddance, Matt says. She’s a little fat.
After Jess finally lays eyes on the "Micro" penis, she leaves for good, while Coach bows out of his battle with Schmidt, realizing his real insecurities.
Cece and Winston somehow manage to get a billboard up featuring Schmidt in Koreatown, realizing the ruse will only crush him more if it’s ever revealed.
Coach asks when Schmidt gets is cut. Wintson is not happy.