Apparently, when Donnie Wahlberg proposed to Jenny McCarthy, he put a giant rock on her finger.
Like, a rock you wouldn't expect the real-life inspiration for Johnny Drama to be able to afford. A rock so big she has to take it off when they have sex...but not so big that she remembers to put it back on afterward.
Yes, apparently after McCarthy and Wahlberg got married, she took off her wedding rings so they could bang, because apparently that's something that people do.
Afterward, she stumbled out of her hotel room in a newlywed sex coma, and didn't think about the rings until later. By then of, of course, they'd been snatched by the hotel staff, because poor people, amirite?
No, seriously, that's the story she's telling:
"We were staying in a hotel room," said McCarthy in a recent interview. "It's a little hard to get romantic with diamonds on your hand. I removed it and put it on the room service table and they came and turned down the room and the ring was gone."
"But you know what though? If you're gonna lose your wedding ring, you should lose it that way."
So is she telling us that Donnie's into butt play? Because otherwise a big ring shouldn't affect your sex life, and that story makes no sense.
Here's a theory on how it really went down:
Donnie realized he has her locked down now, and those New Kids on the Block royalty checks aren't what they used to be, so he pahked his cah down in Southie where he knows a guy with a pawn shop who swore he won't tell no one that the rings are Mrs. McCahthy's.
Stay tuned for more D-List Liars: Boston Edition.