On last night's season premiere of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, we finally got to watch what has been playing out in the tabloids for months.
Khloe Kardashian has become "shattered” by her tumultuous relationship with Lamar Odom, and Kris and Bruce Jenner may be better off apart.
Didn't see that one coming, did you?!
“I’ve been in hiding because I’m afraid of people,” Khloe Kardashian confessed in the start of the premiere when heading out with sis Kourtney.
It was hard not to feel a little sympathetic to Khloe in Keeping Up With the Kardashians Season 9 Episode 1. Yes, you read that correctly, and yes, we're serious.
The Kards are in the exploitation business, as 'Ye famously said, but they're still human, and someone yelling "Are you going to pick up Lamar from Skid Row?" still hurts.
“I’ve been putting myself aside to hopefully save somebody else’s life,” Khloe cried. “And now that I’ve come to terms that I can’t, I have to move on with my life and that means changing a lot.”
And so it goes.
Khloe Kardashian grew more and more upset throughout the episode, during which it was revealed that Lamar called her best friend Malika [Haqq] to apologize.
“Tell Khloe you’re f--king sorry,” she said, while her younger brother Rob Kardashian, who was famously close to Lamar, said he hasn’t heard from him.
Khloe revealed that Lamar uses prepaid phones and then gets new ones, like any good drug dealer or fiend, after which Rob said it's time for her to move out.
The family was there for her at least. In addition to Kim Kardashian and her blood siblings, Brandon and Brody Jenner were also by Khloe's side throughout.
Speaking of the Jenner side, patriarch Bruce told Kris that even though the lease was up at his Malibu beach house, he wanted to stay and not move back in.
Having lived with Kris Jenner for two decades, then not lived with Kris Jenner, it's hard to blame the guy. Look what it's done to his physical appearance.
“We both have to admit that the energy between us seems to be better when we’re apart right now," Bruce said, stating the obvious. "We’ve been together 23 years."
"It seems to me that we’re doing better being apart, and just seeing each other here and there ... to be honest with you I can’t see it going back.”
It's definitely better for Bruce, but Kylie and Kendall Jenner are understandably not taking it as well, and again, it's hard not to feel for those girls.
This episode summed up so much of why the First Family of Reality TV has become so popular in modern society, whether you love them or abhor them.
Shameless capitalists and materialistic morons? Maybe. But the Kardashians are family, and while their show is often scripted, their issues are real.
Until next week, follow the link to watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians online now to see the sesaon premiere heartbreak play out for yourself.