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For many women, having a child is a joyous experience.

Isabella Dutton of England is not one of those women.

The 57-year-old raised eyebrows with a commentary she penned in the UK’s Daily Mail in which she details her regrets about having her two kids, Stuart and Jo.

Candidly, she describes thoughts that fly directly in the face of what most mothers say about their children – or at least what they think they should say.

“My son Stuart was five days old when the realization hit me like a physical blow: having a child had been the biggest mistake of my life,” she wrote.

“I felt completely detached from this alien being who had encroached upon my settled married life and who had changed it, irrevocably, for the worse.”


Dutton said that despite her indifference, she was not a “bad” mother, investing all of her time, energy and resources into caring for the two children.

But she still came to resent their neediness and the time spent doting on them that could have been used to “reflect, read and enjoy her own company.”

“I know there are millions who will consider me heinously cold-blooded and unnatural, but I believe there will also be those who secretly feel the same,” Dutton wrote.

She said she was not emotionally scarred by her own upbringing, describing her family life as “happy” and “conventional” as one of five siblings.

Universally, it’s more common to hear of women who regret the decision not to have kids, and according to recent surveys, it’s the same for most men.

Men are just as likely as women to regret not having kids, and that half of men felt jealous of those who do, compared to under half of the women.

But Dutton is not most people, she reiterates. She never got over the peace and simplicity that she loved about her life before her kids came along.

“It’s just that I have been honest – some may contend brutally so – and admitted my feelings,” she wrote. “In doing so I have broken a supposedly inviolable law of nature.”

“What kind of mother, after all, wishes she hadn’t had children?”

What do you think of her take? Vote and comment below!