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Newly-deployed Prince Harry is being marked for death and/or kidnapping by the Taliban, according to the Afghan extremist group’s spokesman. We know, we know. “Taliban spokesman” is probably just one guy standing on top of a goat yelling.

Harry was deployed to Afghanistan last week.

An Apache helicopter pilot in the British military, the 27-year-old royal will be fighting Taliban insurgents on the front lines for the next four months.

Sussexes, Cambridges

Harry’s presence has pissed off the Taliban (even more than that of any other westerner), and spokesman Zabihullah Mujahid put a bounty on him.

“We are using all our strength to get rid of him, either by killing or kidnapping,” Mujahid told reporters via tin can phone interview Monday.

Mujahid referred to the plans as “Harry Operations”, adding, “We have informed our commanders in Helmand to do whatever they can to eliminate him.”

The British military announced its own “Harry Operations” – distributing leaflets featuring sexy Prince Harry naked photos to various villages, just to taunt the insurgents before tactically eliminating them via precision air strikes.

Just kidding, but we want credit for that idea if the Royal Air Force steals it.