The Real Housewives of New Jersey are headed to Napa...the long way. "Pack Your Baggage" finds the ladies camping in heels. We recap all of the stupidity in our THG +/- review.
The show opens with the recap of Caroline commenting that Albie hasn't had a serious girlfriend in about two year but how he should really be concentrating on work. Minus 7. Albie's a grown man. Can't he have a career and a girlfriend? You'd think mom would want him to be happy.
Well Momma Caroline might not be pleased when she hears that Albie's asked Lindsey to move in. Actually Albie, Chris and Greg all ask her to move in and it really is kind of sweet. Plus 10. Nice job boys.
But the trip to California is closing in almost as fast as hurricane Irene but that's not about to stop this crew. With the airports closed they ditch their kids on their parents and drive several hours to catch a flight out of Pittsburgh. Plus 8 for sheer determination.
Did we really have to witness both Joes peeing on the side of the road? Were the fast food restaurant bathrooms not good enough for them. Do their mommies need to remind them to go before they leave? Minus 12.
It takes a road trip and two flights to get this crew to San Francisco. What do they do when they're bored on a road trip? Watch videos of cows having sex of course. Minus 9.
They finally make their way to Camping World to pick up their RVs and buy some camping gear and that's where the real stupidity begins.
They have no plan. They have no list. They have no brains but they have plenty of disposable cash. Minus 10.
At least Kathy picks up the RV's For Dummies handbook. Plus 15. Talk about truth in advertising.
At least Teresa's heels have fringe. Plus 8. It's her idea of going for a western theme. Then she locks herself in the RV bathroom and announces her stomach troubles, which her husband then broadcasts to the other RVs. Thanks for sharing. Minus 9.
Joe Gorga's driving the Gorga/Guidice RV even though he's never driven anything even close to this size. Why? Because Joe Guidice still doesn't have a valid license.
Guidice starts cutting sausage with a huge knife in the RV kitchen while they're driving down the highway. Minus 8. I think someone needs to read the RVs For Dummies book before he loses a finger.
Just when I think the stupidity factor can't get any higher Lauren asks what the number 12 means next the city name on the road sign. Um..perhaps 12 miles more until you get there? The scary part is I don't think she's joking. Minus 12.
When this crazy crew finally rolls in to the RV park the locals come out to watch the show. The looks on their faces are priceless. Plus 7.
It's all going so well. Melissa and Teresa are feeling one another up. Joe Gorga's showing his equipment (and I don't mean his camping gear) to the Manzos. We find out Kathy's a screamer and Richie's standing at attention for all to see. I don't even know how to issue points for that.
As happy as every one seems, Teresa can't let that silly pizzelle comment of Kathy's go. I'll give her a plus 6 for telling Kathy about how she feels and not stewing about it.
But then she has to dredge it all up to Melissa. When Melissa brings up that maybe Teresa needs to look at her own behavior I thought for sure all Hell was going to break lose but somehow the comment seems to roll right off her. Plus 8.
Teresa does promise one thing…she won't put any of her family or friends in her next book. Minus 13. Does she really believe people are buying these books for the recipes?
The first California episode has everyone smiling. What are the odds they stay that way?
EPISODE TOTAL: -9. SEASON TOTAL: -221!