Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Ear Wax and Appendectomies

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Bruce Jenner did all he could to tune out his annoying family on Keeping Up with the Kardashians last night. He gets countless points for the attempt, but the clan as a whole lost a ton in this +/- review of its weekly, scripted shenanigans...

Kim asks Rob, in response to him having not seen Mason in awhile, "doesn't that hurt your soul?" She then sticks her chest out for a nice shot by the E! cameras. PLUS 7.

Khloe brings Bruce a "harmony comb" to help with his hearing. It's a paper plate and candle (below) resting on the side of his head. He then complains about Khloe taking a photo and putting it on YouTube. The E! camera man shakes his head and hands out MINUS 13 points for the irony.

"When in doubt, throw it away," Khloe says in regard to a turkey baster. MINUS 6 to E! producers for not taking the same stance with all copies of this show.

Kourtney is afraid Rob is missing her son growing up because they haven't spent quality time together. PLUS 5 to Rob for understanding he can just watch the process via the Internet instead.

Kris tells Bruce she told him to pick up the girls 45 minutes ago, but he didn't hear her. MINUS 47 points to every viewer who believes this exchange actually took place.

PLUS 12, though, to Kendall and Kylie for selling this imaginary storyline pretty well... until, MINUS 67, one of them says they could have "been kidnapped." People actually get kidnapped, you self-serving, greedy morons.

Bruce passes his hearing test. He failed his integrity test years ago, so we'll give him PLUS 6 for finally getting a passing grade here.

Rob is sick! Kris changes out of her fancy shoes and into her tennis shoes to check on the problem! PLUS 3 points to myself for having not broken my television yet.

Kris says you "worry a lot" any time your child is "put under." MINUS 29 because she forgot to include: "unless she is put under Ray J on video because that nets your family millions."

You won't believe this, but Kourtney brings Scott flowers to close the episode and the pair makes up. PLUS 9 for such originality. The show NEVER concludes this way.


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Kim Kardashian Biography

A Kim Kardashian Selfie
Kim Kardashian is the ex-girlfriend of Nick Cannon, Reggie Bush and Ray J. She had intercourse on camera with the former, which is what... More »
Los Angeles, California
Full Name
Kimberly Noel Kardashian

Kim Kardashian Quotes

So far, designing is the most exciting thing I’ve done... I have a vision of what I want [the clothes] to look like in my mind and it’s fun to see it come alive on paper.

Kim Kardashian

He just seemed very firm about the change, and that’s, like, his motto.

Kim Kardashian [on Barack Obama]