Angelina Jolie an Anorexic Heroin Addict, Tabloid Claims; Brad Pitt & Jen Aniston Reunite!

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The tabloids are off the proverbial hook this week.

Based on this Star cover story, not only is the celebrity news rag making up stories, they're also doctoring photos, superimposing Angelina Jolie's cranium onto what appears to be a skeleton as "evidence" of her "relapse."

Of course, in tiny print atop the ANOREXIA & HEROIN RELAPSE proclamation are the words "new fears of." Someone's worried about this ... somewhere. Basically, just enough of a loophole to avoid a giant lawsuit. Score!

Angelina Jolie: Heroin Addict!
What an Emotional Reunion

With Ange looking like that, no wonder Brad's seeking Jen's counsel!

So much for all that marriage talk. Brangelina appears to be on the cusp of unraveling altogether, from the looks of these (entirely made up) reports.

Meanwhile, Jennifer Aniston may be dating Justin Theroux, but he may not want to get comfortable, 'cause Brad's making a move on his ex! Again!

Clever work with the separate photos of Brad and Jen on the phone, In Touch. That totally means they're talking to each other. Bring on the Pulitzer!

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Jennifer Aniston Quotes

I actually feel I've been unbelievably lucky in love. I don't feel like I'm supposed to be any further along or somewhere that I'm not. I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

Jennifer Aniston

You just have to love your life. I have my health, I have my friends, I have my loved ones. I'm extremely lucky.

Jennifer Aniston