America's Got Talent Review: For Polefessionals Only

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The auditions on America's Got Talent continued to hobble along last night, this time in New York City, where the freaks were out in full force.

Just imagine how paranoid Howie must have really been paranoid about germs, as he emerged from a zorb. That was one of the highlights of an otherwise mediocre evening...

Unimpressed Host

Tomorrow's Contenders?
Snap Boogie - The street performer had the perfect sob story and the right song to fit his character (overcoming obstacles with the joy of dance). We've seen a lot of breakers, but I was genuinely impressed by his whole routine. I can see how he would increase his difficulty level for the following competition rounds.

Michael Turco - There was something about the magician that reminded me of a combination of Donny Osmond and Billy Crystal. The best thing about his routine was the sheer speed that he transitioned between the girls. That's probably the coolest misdirection I've seen.

ELEW - I liked the whole arm bracelet thing, but there were a handful of sour notes being hit because of the way he was slamming his keys. I did love the interaction with the piano innards, yet I wished he had a bit more control. I really didn't think that "Sweet Home Alabama" was the best choice for him though.

Yesterday's Talent?
Riley Schillaci - Not only did the sword swallower give us enough gag reflex jokes through her dry interview, she hammered a drumstick into her mouth. I did like the hula hoop and Nick's interaction, but I would prefer to see yesterday's Captain.

Steven Retchless - The "polefessional" dancer had some of the best speed I've ever seen in his turns and he can definitely out dance the fire pole dancer we saw previously.

Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. - There's a part of me that couldn't support him just because he placed his gum in his pocket. I don't think anyone would expect him to have a crooner’s voice. He was good, but there were a lot of singers this year, he'll probably get trumped by a youngster.

No Talent
Triple Threat - I knew it was going to be a bit downhill when they said that they were performers from an Amusement Park. The whole thing screamed low budget county fair.

Joel "the Cannon" - Competitive eating is not a Vegas talent, but I would love to see him attempt a hot dog challenge.

Totally Underestimated
Boston Typewriter Orchestra - I actually didn't think that the group sounded like noise. They had an original concept and I'm surprised they could even find typewriters in our computer based society.

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