No booze, no drugs, no shoplifting, no court dates. Never, ever again.
That's what Lindsay Lohan claims is her plan for life, telling friends she's not just serious about cleaning up her act short-term, but for good. No exceptions.
Please, try to stifle your laughter at least a little bit ...
Sources close to Lindsay hilariously say the actress had an epiphany after her recent sentencing and is completely at peace with the judge's decision.
Lindsay is staying positive about community service, fines, counseling, shoplifters alternative class and serving jail time under house arrest - the works.
Lohan's required to stay sober during her probation - which ends after she completes 480 hours of community service - or she faces consequences.
However, people close to Lindsay say she's committed to sobriety for the long haul and that the train wreck has learned her lesson once and for all.
Anyone buying it? Tell us: Can Lindsay Lohan stay clean?