Jesse James' world was ripped to shred by his own doing.
It's been a year since an affair cost him his marriage to Sandra Bullock and fallout from the scandal upended his world, leaving him at his breaking point.
A 30-day stint at Sierra Tucson treatment center in Arizona not only helped James cope at the height of the crisis but shed light on his abusive childhood.
It was coming to grips with a life marred by anger, shame and self-loathing that helped enlighten James, he writes in a new memoir, American Outlaw.
"I always felt out of place my whole life," says James, who still felt unworthy despite rising to fame and success as CEO of West Coast Choppers.
"I never felt successful, never felt I deserved anything."
While he takes "full accountability" for betraying Sandra, "I'm moving forward, thinking clearly, becoming a better person... I have started life over."
James, who is now engaged to Kat Von D, says he's made his world better in the past year in large part by making his world smaller:"I've made my world pretty small. Now I can focus on what's important: making sure [my] kids get good grades and are happy and healthy."
One topic too painful to include in the memoir?
Louis, the adopted son James and Bullock had been raising together in secret before the scandal broke, but who Sandra is now raising solo.
"Talking about Louis almost felt too intimate," he says. "He is so sweet, I miss him."