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Bad news for Kourtney Kardashian this week: she’s been stabbed in the heart.

Really bad news for celebrity gossip followers: this headline isn’t meant in a literal sense.

For the second time in a month, Kourtney’s relationship with Scott Disick is front and center on a supermarket tabloid. While previous reports of the pair’s split were premature, this one seems REALLY serious!

After all, an anonymous source says the family agrees Scott “needs professional help” because he cheated on his baby mama with some chick in a bikini. OMG, people. OMG…

A stabbing, a surgical nightmare, a baby for Angelina Jolie and a honeymoon for Ian Ziering?!? At least one of these stories is true. Can you guess which?