The Hollywood Gossip's recap of The Bachelor is a rundown of our favorite (and least favorite) moments, with points awarded or deducted as we see fit. Last night, the five women stopped at nothing to impress J-Mes in his native Seattle. Let's get to it ...
Jillian's way with words amazes: "As soon as I saw Jason, I literally catapulted out of the limo." NOTE: Catapult not shown. Plus 5.
Jason: "Today's gonna be an awesome day. I'm gonna show the girls the best of Seattle." - Jason. Not included Last season's NFL or MLB standings. Minus 2.
Molly Malaney, through the glass, during the radio broadcast: "I'm trying to read his lips. He's saying: 'Molly, I love you.'" If he's not, Mols, we sure are! Plus 7.
Speaking of Molly ... there's family beer pong waiting in Michigan?! We gotta start rooting against this girl so someone on our staff can gobble her up. Plus 17.
Why does Jillian try so hard and appear nervous at all times? Her answer to the bedroom question: "I like fun!!! And then... it ends with you wanting to spend the rest of your life with that person." Way to cover all bases. Minus 8.
Come on, Ty. Get your $h!t together. Whining while Jason Mesnick has his shirt off??? Millions of women would kill to be in your position. Minus 12.
Jason Mesnick shirtless should not induce whining. Even if you're three.
Must the girls always say the phrase "hometown date" and talk about bringing Jason to their "hometowns" every five seconds? Does anyone really refer to where they live that way? Might want to mix up your scripted lines a bit, ABC. Minus 3.
Plus 15 for Melissa Rycroft casually mentioning that it's hard to bring someone to meet her family ... then in next week's preview, revealing that her parents don't approve at all! The plot thickens. Will this lie-via-omission derail our favorite?
Since Naomi's parents haven't stayed together, Jason worries she may not be the most stable partner. 1. The Bachelor stars are 0-for-12 lifetime. 2. Jason is divorced! Way to gloss over that for the sake of faux controversy. Minus 20.
Obligatory Plus 9 for Chris Harrison. From his mini-recap of the episode with Jason, to reminding us for the 378th time that those who survive tonight's elimination will go on "hometown dates," to his declaration of the final rose each week (ladies, the final rose... as if they forgot), this guy has the best job on TV.
Jason tells Stephanie she's "the greatest person he's ever met." Aside from, you know, the four younger, hotter girls he's keeping around. Minus 7.
TOTAL: +1. A quick list of who's in and out on The Bachelor...
Roses received at ceremony: Molly, Naomi, Melissa, Jillian.
Given the boot by tearful Jason Mesnick: Stephanie.