Tonight's American Idol marks the first round of semifinal auditions on the show. This is where the true talent portion of the show begins!
At 8 p.m., flip the channel to Fox and fire up your Internet to The Hollywood Gossip! Our staff will be live blogging the entire show - and we wanna hear from readers throughout.
Simply refresh your browser every couple of minutes during the broadcast in order to read our thoughts on the latest auditions.
Also, remember to click on the "Comments" link below and share your opinions on which singers were hits, which were misses and which insane asylum Paula Abdul should be committed to.
8:00: And... we're off! Thanks for joining us, readers. Or should I call you the "toughest judges of all," as Ryan just did? The top male, female and then next-highest overall vote-getter will move on tonight.
8:02: Simon likes Ryan's new hair. We like his eyes (did we just write that out loud?).
8:06: Jackie Tohn is up first and she has a goal with "A Little Less Conversation" by Elvis: To get Paula up off her feet. We think she has medication that takes care of that. Tohn is throaty and full of energy. She's like a sex phone operator on Red Bull.
Randy, Kara and Paula all say the voice isn't perfect, but this girl can entertain! Simon calls the song "gimmicky" and refers to Jackie as a "clown." He also hates her pants.
8:15: Ricky Braddy had to give up serving chicken fingers in order to try out for American Idol. If that doesn't move you to tears, we don't know what will.
He's singing "A Song for You," also known as "A Song No One Has Ever Heard of." Paula gives Ricky a standing ovation, while Randy says this was "the start of season eight." Ouch. Sorry, Jackie. Simon says Ricky has no charisma or star quality, but, hey, that's his only criticism. Ricky's parents are wearing "Braddy Bunch" t-shirts. We like it.
8:27: Alexis Grace recounts her first audition, when Kara told her to make love to her fiance. She's singing "Never Loved a Man" by Aretha Franklin (guess Aretha never received that same advice from Kara).
Kara and Randy dug the performance, while Paula wants to make love to Alexis. She thinks she's wonderful, beautiful and fantastic. Simon makes a comparison to Kelly Clarkson. Whoa.
Alexis' dad looks like Meatloaf.8:38: Brett Keith belts out the classic country "Hick Town." Kara says the song was too safe, while Paula compliments Keith (we guess) by saying, "Look what happened to Bucky Covington," to which Cowell hilariously replies, "What did happen to Bucky Covington?"
We had the over/under on number of Bucky Covington references on the show at 1.5.
8:49: Maybe your favorite will be Stevie Wright, Ryan tells us. Maybe. Let's find out...
She chooses "You Belong to Me" by Taylor Swift. We can barely hear her. She sounds out of breath. This is not going well. Randy says it was a poor performance, Kara says it doesn't reflect Stevie as an artist, and even Paula puts down the audition. Simon says his fellow judges weren't harsh enough. He's the best.
8:54: Time for Anooooop! Sorry, Noop Dawg. Take it away, Anoop Desai...
He chooses "Angel of Mine" by Monica. Randy puts down Desai's pitch, while Kara has an issue with his riffs. Each says they still love the guy, though. Paula compares Anoop to Brian McKnight (who wishes he had Anoop's name!).
9:05: Back from commercial, it's time for Casey Carlson. She chooses "Everything She Does is Magic" because it's a song that just "makes you feel good," Casey says.
Not making us feel good? Casey's misplaced shakes and shimmies. The lack of ability to carry a tune doesn't help, either. You may no longer be the worst of the evening, Stevie Wright! Kara sums it up well, saying "everything about that was wrong."
9:16: Ryan says Michael Sarver may be the next David Cook. He belts out "I Don't Want to Be" by Gavin DeGraw, a solid song choice for this oil rigger. The judges all agree that he could have done better, though Simon actually says he hopes America gives Michael another shot. (Hear that, readers?!?)
9:22: Ann Marie Boskovich is up. We heart her a lot. The song choice is another Aretha Franklin classic, "Natural Woman."
Ummm, they just showed Ted Danson in the crowd giving Ann Marie a standing ovation. We love you in Damages!
Simon says that Boskovich didn't have the vocal chops for the song, while Kara says she should have chosen something more modern. Meanwhile, after Ann Marie sits next to Ryan and apologizes for sitting on the "hard part" of the couch, Ryan makes the immature joke you'd expect from a seven-year old.
9:29: It's a commercial for X-Men Origins: Wolverine!!!
9:34: Stephen Fowler sings "Rock with Me" by Michael Jackson. Randy seems very confused by the performance. Not in a good way. Kara says it was better when he forgot the lyrics in Hollywood. That's a new way to insult someone. Stephen doesn't even have his wife in the house for comfort.
9:43: It's time for Tatiana Tel Doro. Brace yourselves, people. She's actually gonna try a Whitney Houston song, "Saving All My Love For You." It's not terrible, but it's not very exciting or entertaining, either.
Randy keeps harping on the "moments" that he liked, while Kara wonders if Tatiana is a "character or an artist." The new judge has to stop trying to define every singer the instant he/she takes the stage.
9:54: Danny Gokey closes the show with "Hero" by Mariah Carey. He says he wants to inspire people through the song and through his situation (remember, his wife passed away four weeks before his initial audition). It's an admirable goal... but Mariah? Really, Danny?
The crowd is going bonkers! Randy says it was "blazing hot," Kara is orgasmic, Paula refers to him as "stellar" and makes some reference to "sold-out arenas." Simon, as always, brings everyone down to earth, saying it was very good. He just isn't buying the hype yet.
Who will move on? Our choices: Alexis Grace, Anoop Desai and Danny Gokey.
Who do you think should advance to the final 12?