People need to lay off Michael Phelps. Hitting the bong isn't exactly a performance-enhancer - nor does it make the swimmer a lying, cheating disgrace.
New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez, the best player in baseball, normally only makes celebrity gossip headlines for his actions off the field.
This story does continue that trend, although it's potentially far more scandalous than the railing of various manly strippers or even his now-infamous "affair of the heart" with Madonna while still married to pregnant wife Cynthia Rodriguez.
A-Rod tested positive for steroids while playing for the Texas Rangers in 2003, when he won the first of his three MVP awards, according to Sports Illustrated.
The supposedly anonymous results were seized in April 2004 by federal agents in the BALCO steroids ring investigation, which did not involve the Rod.
According to the report, Alex Rodriguez was one of 104 players on a list of positive tests for steroids that year, when baseball starting instituting "survey" testing to "determine the extent of steroids use in the game." The extent? Extensive.
Seen here cheering on Madonna, Alex Rodriguez is likely to hear even fewer cheers than usual (if that's possible) in 2009 amid reports of a past positive steroids test.
Having repeatedly denied having used steroids throughout what has been a prolific career (at least in the months of April-September), A-Rod did not comment.
"You'll have to ask the union," he said. "I'm not saying anything."
Major League Baseball's executive vice president for labor relations would not discuss the validity of the story, saying in a statement that the 2003 survey testing was only intended to be informational, and neither disciplinary nor anonymous.
While Alex Rodriguez is unlikely to face discipline over the findings - as baseball did not begin attaching punishment to positive tests until 2004 - the story most certainly will further tarnish Rodriguez's much-scrutinized career.
Jesus Luz is probably looking pretty good to Madonna right now.