The Hollywood Gossip staff is proud to bring you Tale of the Tape, a feature in which we break down prospective matchups within the celebrity world. The following one that has been brewing for awhile – and is getting more heated by the day.
Carrie Underwood, our current Caption Contest subject, used to date Tony Romo, who is now dating Jessica Simpson. But he may still be pining for Carrie, and Jessica is jealous, and apparently talkin’ smack about Carrie (see photo below)!
It’s so on. Which of these women of Tony Romo will emerge victorious after a grueling, 10-round fight? Let’s find out. Ding, ding!
Jessica Simpson takes a thinly-veiled shot at Carrie Underwood’s vegetarianism.
1. ATTITUDE TOWARDS THE OTHER
Carrie Underwood: Not acknowledging the bitch
Jessica Simpson: Passive-aggressive t-shirts
Edge: Carrie
2. TALENT
Carrie Underwood: Loads
Jessica Simpson: N/A
Edge: Carrie
3. GRAMMY AWARDS
Carrie Underwood: 3
Jessica Simpson: N/A
Edge: Carrie
4. INSANE FATHERS
Carrie Underwood: N/A
Jessica Simpson: Joe Simpson
Edge: Carrie
Carrie Underwood: Solid charity softball player
Jessica Simpson: Bad luck Dallas Cowboys cheerleader
Edge: Carrie
6. POSSESSES FAKE …
Carrie Underwood: Disdain for Simon Cowell
Jessica Simpson: Chin, Nose, Sincerity
Edge: Carrie
7. INTELLECTUAL ACHIEVEMENTS
Carrie Underwood: High school salutatorian; Graduated magna cum laude from Northeastern State University (Okla.), Class of 2006!
Jessica Simpson: Thought tuna was chicken
Edge: Carrie
8. MOST APPROPRIATE SONG TITLE
Carrie Underwood: “All-American Girl”
Jessica Simpson: “Push Your Tush”
Edge: Carrie
9. REALITY TV HIGHLIGHTS
Carrie Underwood: Winning American Idol
Jessica Simpson: Lots of dumb quotes on Newlyweds
Edge: Carrie
10. MOST LIKELY FUTURE
Carrie Underwood: Country Music Hall of Fame
Jessica Simpson: Soft-core porn
Edge: Carrie
THE VERDICT: The real country singer takes it – and for the first time in The Hollywood Gossip history, it’s by a perfect, 10-0 score. By virtue of being blanked, Jessica must do a naked run. We’re waiting, airhead.